There's no perfect time to get married. If it feels right to you otherwise, and you don't think you're being irrational (only you know your relationship) then just enjoy it. You don't want your engagement to be a miserable time where you're constantly doubting yourself for no reason other than the time you've been together. (If there are other reasons, that could be valid.) Make your engagement long, get the counseling you want. But enjoy this, don't fret about it.

I've known quite a few people who've met, gotten engaged, and married within one year! I do think you should be with someone for all four seasons before marrying them, but it's different for everyone. In your case, I say be engaged for a least a year and in the meantime, do several pre-marital counseling sessions.

I know there will be naysayers to this, but since you're already engaged, move in together now if you haven't taken that step yet. After a few months, you'll know a lot more about him and if this can truly work forever.

Congrats and good luck!

Personally for me I would have to be with the guy at least two years. But, like Remedious said there is no perfect time to get married. All I can say is follow your heart and if it feels right to you then go ahead and marry him. Good Luck!

i don't think a year is too short at all. i applaud your responsible and mature choice to do counselling, as well, especially if you've had your ups and downs. just be sure that what you're "over the moon" about is actually about a MARRIAGE not the prospect of a wedding, and a ring, and all the hoopla that comes with it.

Personally I think it is a little too soon. (especially since you're having problems.)

Maybe try to have a longer engagement and not start planning right away. If you're having issues jumping right into getting married could only add more stress to the relationship.

Doing things like getting married, having a baby and so forth when you're having relationship problems won't solve anything.

K seriously, look at my parents!

They met, moved in together 2-3 months later, and got married 6 months later!!!

And they have eben happily together for I think 24 years now...going on 25

It is different for everyone. If it's right, you know.

Just be sure that everything is out on the table- finances, family relationship, child rearing, religion, and other issues that could become a point of contention down the road.

I think pre-marital counseling is an excellent idea a speaks volumes about being mature enough to marry.

Yes, a year is too soon to get married, especially when you are that young. Of course there are people who have done married young &/or after not dating long and have had successful marriages, but why take the chance? It's not like your options are marriage or never see him again. You said it yourself--you aren't sure if you've known him long enough!!! Well, date him & get to know him before you marry him.

But good call on the pre-marital counseling. I think EVERYONE should do that no matter how long they've been dating.

I think your idea of some marriage counseling is a great idea.
And don't forget, just because you got engaged quickly doesn't meant that you have to rush the wedding too!

My dad proposed to my mom on the 2nd day! they got married 3 months later...and they've been married for 31 years now.
I think the length of your relationship hasn't got anything to do with it. Counselling is a great idea to smooth out, discuss and ultimately resolve problems.
Congrats and good luck!

This question was kind of eerie to me, because I'm also 24 and my fiancee is 30 and we met a year ago and he recently proposed. But I have no hesitation. We'll be married next year and I can't wait.

Like a commenter above, my parents were engaged after three days of knowing each other and married two months later. They've been happy for 26 years now.

I don't think its too early. But it depends on the people involved. My dad's parents were engaged on the 2nd date and married two months later. They were happily married for almost 60 years before my grandma died. My mom's parents were married within 3 months of dating and happily married for over 50 years before my grandpa died. And my husband and I were married within 3 months of dating. Happily married for 4 years . It must run in the family. My philosophy is when you know you know! So do the right thing for you. There is no perfect time to get married. Every one is different! Good luck.

oh and my parents were high school sweet hearts..so they dated FOREVER before they got married. They are still together too! So point being...length of time dating doesnt make a difference.

It's different for every couple. Some are ready to get married after a year, and some aren't. It could be dependent on a lot of factors - how old you are, whether you're both finished school, your life experience, your dating/relationship experience, how much time you've actually spent together in that year, whether you're already living together, whether you've discussed at length issues like children, finances, religion, politics, etc.

If your gut is telling you that you're not sure yet, then by all means do whatever it takes for you to feel confident that this is the right decision. Counseling sounds like a great idea. Just because you're engaged doesn't mean you have to be saying your vows within the year, you can have a longer engagement. When you're ready, you'll know.

it's different for everyone. i knew within months that i was going to marry my fiance, but we still didn't get engaged for five years (and we're not getting married for another two!). everyone has their problems, but i'd make sure it's not dealbreaker stuff before actually tying the knot.

another thought... it was great for my fiance and i to have the chance to work out some of our issues without the added pressure of having a marriage together. i'm nine years younger than he is, and it gave us the opportunity to work out the (few) issues that arised around that, and let me grow up a little on my own and as part of a couple. just some thoughts on how it's worked out for me.

I am not going to even read your story yet! But if you are asking then YES! Not b/c of length of relationship but b/c you obviously are not sure.

marriage is a life decision - take your time. marriages that last forever in the past were part of a social norm, these days there are so many conflicts - just be 100% sure, you are 24 - you could live until you are 100.

I think counselling is a great decision. It will really help the two fo you in your relationship. Don't jump into a quick marriage just because you're engaged! I got engaged after only a year of dating, but we were engaged for two years and I've never regretted that. It gave us a chance to focus on the wedding and the relationship.

And I was married at 23! Just because others think that you're too young doesn't mean that you are. It's about the two of you and not everyone else.

My mom and dad got married a year after they started dating, he was 24 and she was 22. They've been married for 30 years now and are still going strong. There's no right and wrong, if you feel it's right for you, just go for it... If you're feeling a little hesitant (sounds like you are), make it a long engagement. Take time planning everything, saving money. Just because you're enganged doesn't mean you have to get married right away. Don't listen to what other people think, just do what feels right for you and your fianceé. And congrats!!

My husband and I got engaged on our first anniversary and were engaged for 11 months, everyone seemed to think that was fine. My parents went from blind date to married in 6 months! They have been happily married for 31 years. Everyone is different. I think counseling is always a good idea before you get married, bc they know the things yall should discuss that might not occur to you.

Counseling is always a good idea. I don't think a year is too short, and it's not like you're super young. But you would get to discuss your concerns and get advice on those things in counseling, in fact my church requires counseling for couples getting married there(even for those who are not part of the church and are just using our facilities).

if you have doubts, then there is a problem.

Personally, I would never marry a man unless we were together for a minimum of 2-1/2 years and that I was 100% percent sure that he was right for me and that we could last. I would definitely say counseling is a must.

I'm on 7 years and getting married in 5 months.

My husband and I got married when I was 24 and he was 29, and our wedding date was a year to the day after we met...there's no right age or length of time. Premarital counseling is a great idea, though -- we did that plus read some relationship books together before the wedding, and it was a good way to start out our married life together. Good luck to you guys!

Tip: Make sure you review each other's finances. No secrets!

Nobody can answer that question but you!!! If you are unsure or hesitant, then yes, it's probably too soon.

But if you feel that it's the right step for the two of you, and he agrees to counseling, then go for it.

It's a decision that only the two of you can make. And you're the only ones who know if it's the right one or not.

I do think that one year is a bit too short, but that really depends on you and him.
Trust your feelings - if they tell you they need some time or reassurance, don't push yourself.

I think it totally depends on you and him and your relationship. None of us know what your problems have been or how happy you are and how well you two are in a relationship. So definitely try counseling as it will allow you to talk about your future/any issues you may have with each other. Good luck to you all.
P.S My man and I will be married exactly 3 years after our first date

allien86...I'm using my dating anniversary also!

I don't think there is a set time of dating or a set age. Everyone is different. My parents got married after 3 months... just up and eloped! Totally surprised her parents lol My guy and I have been together for 5 1/2 years and probably won't get married for another 2 1/2 or so. Part of this has to do w/ the fact that we started dating at 15 and 16 and couldn't get married at the 1 or 2 year mark and the other part is that we aren't financially secure yet. I am only 21, but I am in college and he is too, but we aren't able to support ourselves completely yet so we are putting off marriage until then. If money wasn't part of it we'd already be married!
The point is only you can decide for yourselves what is right!

allien86 and angelfromlsu, we are using our dating anniversary too! I didn't realize that many people do that It's always been 'our day' so we aren't' going to change it

If you are hesitant than it's probably too soon to get married. Just have a long engagement. Go to counseling if he's up for it. Do things together and get to know each other better. You can make a decision later when it comes time to set a date, for now just enjoy each other.

I've been engaged for 8 months, and there are no plans for getting married until well, my fiance gives the go ahead? Haha. I am ready for marriage, he is not just yet. We've been together for a year yesterday, and got engaged four months into the relationship, and 3 months ago, we moved in together. I knew he was the one, and is. I don't think it's too soon to get married, but I guess having that extra little time to get to know each other on a different level as an engaged couple, or maybe even moving in together (if you believe in that sort of thing) can solidify your decision to get married.

I personally would not get married to my fiance if we didn't live together first. I think i'll want to do this for a while longer until I bring up the marriage issue again and demand he man up and we can decide on a date! =P

In my opinion i think u should wait because like u said u 2 r having some ups and downs and there's no need to get married right away. Getting married to soon could probably make the relationship worst, u two should just enjoy each others presence for now and get to now eachother more before taking the big step. The both of you don't know that much of one another u might think u do but u don't. And if u do get marry now you two would probably see something in eachother that you never seen before that you don't like. So, just take it slow to see where it leaves you two. But if u feel u can do it then go for it and congrats.

Hello,
Its going to take more than a year to really know someone, and no matter how long it takes you will never know a person FULLY. However, if you know you can share anything with that person, and he will do the same with you, and you are over the moon happy and all of that, then go for it! If you feel that he wants to marry you for the right reasons, and vice versa, then dont let your worries stop you. However, I agree that marriage counseling is a good idea. It does NOT mean that you all have problems, it means that you all want to make sure you know some of the 'big' issues that marriage entails and that you have a general idea on how you all would handle them together and if you could agree to disagree and all of that. Loving someone has no time limit or guideline. Trust God (always consult Him) follow your heart, and the rest will be fine.
--Best of luck to you!!

It all depends on the two of you. I am getting married in five days and we met less than a year ago. I am completely confident in our ability to stay together. We have done some premarital stuff and my dad is a minister so he talks with us often. We know eachothers financial history and both families support us. The only thing that I am stressing on is that our parents haven't met yet. They meet the night before our wedding! You just have to know and understand eachother. Discuss everything down to who will change the babies diapers at two am and who will pay for groceries vs paying the water bill. You two will be fine. Use your communtication skills that you have learned since you two have been together and be enthusiastic with the choices you make together. I am also twenty one and my husband to be is twenty five. Take all the time that you need. You will know when you have all the kinks out! Good luck!!

You know what only you can decide. But my opinion there's no set time for anything. I used to think every step of life had to be calculated but I gave up that theory when I saw how I planned my life and what really transpired. You can't put time on love. I recently met someone and get this after a month I not only moved in with him I up and left my life and moved to another country with him. Its not easy but I don't regret it at all. We only been together for five months and I've been living here for four. Many don't agree with it but you have to do what makes you happy and the counseling a great idea. Just make sure you know every side of him before you make that final decision.

I was 23 when my now husband proposed at 28 we'd only known each other a year and 3 months. We too had our ups and downs (everyone does) but I truly can't imagine my life without him in it and never could. Where I live its not unusual to have a long engagement at least a year plus. If you want the counseling and to work those things out plan a longer engagement if you can, but if you're happy you're doing the right thing. There's also some really wonderful marriage prep courses that will help out their but they can be very hard to find. (And I don't mean you one day group thing but a one on one "counseling" time with a trained married couple that has been through it too.)