Dear Sugar
For the past few months I've been having disturbing dreams. They consist of my husband either having "relations" with my sister or some other kind of sexual act. In each dream she gives me a smile that just breaks my heart.

Here are two examples of why I am so upset with my sister. Once, we were attending the same party and my husband decided to stay home and watch football. My sister was planning to bring her boyfriend along, but when I told her that my husband wasn't coming she remarked that it must be because he's jealous of her boyfriend.

Ew, is she kidding me? The worst part is after she said it, she walked away and gave me the same malicious, sassy smile as she did in my dream.

Another time was during Thanksgiving. Our families got together and when it was time to go I couldn't find my husband. I went looking high and low for him and eventually found him alone with my sister. Again, she flashed me that same icky smile.

I've talked to them separatley about their flirting, but nothing has changed. Lately, my sister has been wearing these super tight and short outfits around him. He loves it and she thrives on the attention. I find it disgusting!

I'm tired of having talks with the both of them about this but it seems like my mind can't let it go and that's why I am having subconscious nightmares. Sugar, how am I supposed to cope with this? Sleepless Sula

To see DEARSUGAR'S answers

Dear Sleepless Sula
Your husband is a flirt. Didn't you know this about him when you married him? It's pretty uncool and embarrassing for you, but unfortunately there is very little that you can do to change his behavior. Constantly nagging him will only put a strain on your relationship.

If your husband and sister are determined to have an affair, then there is nothing that you can do to stop it. Since you can't change their behavior, why not try to work on changing your reaction to it?

Take deep breaths, think of your "happy place" and do your best to let it go. Maybe this is just the nature of their relationship. But if you can't break the cycle of your jealousy, and it's all too overwhelming for you - perhaps you and your husband should seek professional counseling together.

Keep in mind that whenever we fall in love, we expose ourselves to the risk of being hurt. But you have to live your life and not obsess about things you can't control. All you can do is hope that they will do the right thing and not hurt you.