Since the first Academy Awards presentation in 1929, the list of those performers who have won an Oscar remains tiny compared with the long list of those nominees who didn't win or those who weren't even nominated for important performances. Of the twenty performers nominated this year, only Streep, Dench and Blanchett have won an Oscar. And 10 of the twenty nominees have been up before, including those 3 women.
Film is a notoriously ruthless and competitive field, and making it in Hollywood can be both a personal and professional gauntlet. Contacts, ambition, chops, looks and talent don't guarantee anything. Stars appear, endure, fade or flame out every day. Still, success in any field often demands intense effort fueled by passion, desire, ambition and competition. Despite many worthwhile accomplishments, it's still true that not everyone can or will achieve the success they dreamed of, which means disappointment and envy will be our companions at some point along the way.
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There's no more scratchy and uncomfortable feeling than watching that Oscar shot, right before the winner is announced, when all the nominees are together in small frames on the screen. They know they are being watched, and they know in mere seconds they will have won an Oscar or lost one, a significant and staggering moment in any actor's career.
How does it feel to lose, and so publicly, something so critical to one's career and future? How does it feel to watch someone else win, and so publicy? And what if you feel, or know, that the winner isn't as deserving, as talented, or as hard-working as you? The greatest number of people in that auditorium tonight will experience disappointment, and it's entirely likely many will feel envious.
People usually mistake jealousy for envy. But jealousy involves a fear of loss and is usually connected to a feeling of insecurity or threat (as with a 'rival'), whereas envy depends on feelings of inferiority and comparison. It's often married to a preoccupation with what someone else has.
The research shows that one is more likely to experience envy in areas of comparison or competition, especially when that endeavor matters to you. And, according to The Psychological Bulletin (2007) , envy is best defined as a “state in which the desired advantage enjoyed by another person or group of people causes a person to feel a painful blend of inferiority, hostility, and resentment.”
The burning question, of course, becomes how to manage these feelings, because they certainly aren't going away. Denied or dismissed, envy can be destructive and harmful to your health, your relationships, and your future.
In this fascinating article [1] about the nature and consequences of envy, Dr. Smith and Dr. Kim also offer techniques and strategies for dealing with the green-eyed monster:
1. Self-Reliance and Perseverance. To "perseverate" is to repeat an action over and over. In this instance, the term is used to suggest that you repeatedly examine your thoughts to determine whether they are envious. If you find that they are envious at any given moment, remind yourself of how these thoughts don't help your life and can actually harm it. The more you can manage to catch and correct your thinking, the easier it will be to remain envy-free.
2. Selective Ignoring and Distraction. When you find yourself thinking envious thoughts, quickly remind yourself that the other person's advantage isn't important in the grand scheme of things, and then focus on other thoughts (a pleasant memory, things that need to be done, etc) or engage in another activity. By distracting yourself with another absorbing thought or activity, you can stop your envious thoughts in their tracks.
3. Self-Bolstering involves reminding yourself of your own positive qualities and advantages. This strategy doesn't seem to reduce envy itself, but can make you feel less angry and depressed in the face of your envy.
The most current studies indicate that the first two strategies work best for dealing with envy in situations at work or with friends. The good news? It is possible to manage these feelings, which is a much better alternative to being consumed or controlled by them!
Source [2]