You have to talk to him about it. Otherwise, you will get surprised too often if they dont know you dont like it. like DearSugar said, talk to him, otherise, keep an eye out:)

You need to talk to him that is a base that needs to discussed extensively before you jump on in.

Holy smokes! That ain't cool man. I think that was really rude and a little bit scary in a date-rape kind of way. I would be really uncomfortable being intimate with him at all after that. I mean, if you want to try it, that is one thing. But it is entirely another for him to try that without having talked about it first (or using lubrication!).

my guy did that in the beginning of our relationship and i had the same reaction you did. we talked about it a week later and i said i didn't want to go there and he said that he was really sorry because he was aiming for the ummm, "right hole" and got a bit mixed up and was too embarrased to say anything. hopefully that's what happened here.

one more thing: you're not a prude because you don't want to do this! it's definately not everyone's cup of tea, know what i mean?

a guy did that to my friend and she was horrified and really in pain - you need to address this asap, otherwise be ready for unplesent attacks...

Yeah, I think that has happened to most of us nica. This description didn't sound like a "slip" to me though. That's an exit, not an entrance.

sorry to be so ignorant.. whats 5th base?

The pooter, Deba.

This is definitely not okay! Ah! That is a very controversial thing still and there should have at least been a .. may I? I'm sorry that you are in pain.. it clearly sounds like you aren't interested in that sort of intimacy.. I don't think you're a prude either! Next time he goes for it, just say.. hey buster, I don't think so. Ooorr, just grab it and guide him to the right place.

3S "the pooter" hahahahaha

You like? lol

We call them cooter and pooter.

nevermind .... 3sweeties just cleared up for me....

Ummm... Ok, I really did not got if you would go for it again or not. If you are looking to explore more, tell him to go slowly. Some friends have told me that putting up some lubricant first works much better. Some girls do enjoy this after a while some others dont.

If its definitely a big no to you, tell him that is something you dont enjoy... that you do not get sexually excited.

But, as I said, the pooter is an exit!

I know.... I dont like the idea of mf even asking me!

However, I do know some girls that enjoy it... dont ask me why... and also that after being for soooo long with their partner they would like to experiment

if you don't like it just tell him, he's not a mind reader. talk to your guy and let him know what you're comfortable with and what you're not.

boyfriend sorry

@ pooter.

And props to DearSugar for phrasing everything so delicately. And including the picture of the butt to clarify!

Anyway, just be honest with him. Be firm, and tell him that you're not into that sort of thing. I definitely don't think you're a prude, though.

Well girls, I feel like we've really gotten to know each other a lot better today!

I have to get ready for work now! Boo hoo!

hahahah.... 3S i still can't get over 'pooter'

that's what i'm calling it from now on!

Okay first of all, where DO they get these accompanying photos? Sometimes they are just too much!

Second of all, he really should have asked you first. It's definitely NOT something that is expected or common. But I also have to ask, why didn't you put a stop to it? It sounds like you just went along with it. I hope you feel comfortable enough in your relationship to speak up when you aren't okay with something.

I have never been to 5th base myself, but I know from reading Dav Savage's advice column that it's typical to start with just fingers plus lots of lube and working your way up to, um, bigger things.

I'm really not a fan that this guy didn't talk with you first. And that fact that you are uncomfortable bringing it up leads me to believe that you shouldn't be that intimate with this guy in the first place. If you can't talk openly about sex, you probably shouldn't be having it.

Eww! If my guy would do that, I'd slap him in the face! Hard! You should talk about stuff like this first! You don't just go there like it's nothing! (and I'm definitely not going there, doesn't sound like my 'cup of tea' either)

he is supposed to massaged it first too...

massage and lube do wonders. 5th base can be fun but only if you want it.

holy hot damn :jaw drop: lol.. idk what i would have done!!!

When having the conversation about not being interested in this particular thing, and mentioning that you are willing to try new things, you might want to mention something about talking about new stuff before either one of you just does it. Either beforehand or in the moment, something needs to be said so that there are no suprises.

The wrong hole please. That is the dumbest excuse if I have ever heard one.

lol Cuba, you don't know all the details! it lasted less than a minute, if that. there was some alcohol involved too so i can understand that. anyway, it hasn't happened again, he apologized, etc., so i've given him a pass.

Didn't it HURT???

nicachica, it's happened to me before too. less than a min, alcohol involved and poor aim.

"wrong hole honey, i'm not in the mood for that tonight."

As a man who has taken a few girls to 5th, it is not okay to jump into this activity without approval. 5th can be potentially painful and messy, so it needs to be agreed upon and mutual. you need to be sure this doesn't happen again without approval. You aren't a prude, although if you catch that line you should engage him in sex and surprise him with a dildo in his pooper. See how he likes it.

Ahhhh -- what's 5th base? (seriously) please send me an email I'm dying to know.

LOL... getstinko... my bf always jokes around about "trying out the backdoor" and i finally got tired of his joking (not really my thing...) and I told him I would pick out something for him to get rammed up his backdoor and see how he likes it.... if he's not willing to "experiment" than neither am I....

The same type of thing happened to my friend and by friend I do mean friend NOT ME..ahahaha.

Rectal tearing is one way that HIV can be introduced so you need to be really careful to use condoms if you're going this route - so to speak. That's why lube and working your way up via fingers is the way to go and not just ramming a penis in there is advised. I mean DAMN I would be wearing any man's balls as earrings if he ever tried that w/o some kind of warning! Some of my friends like that - but it's not for me.

I agree with popgoestheworld, why on earth didn't you say get out? Stop? It hurts? Couldn't he tell how you were reacting? For crying out loud, your response is almost the response of someone who has been date raped -- straight to 5th base? What does this mean, he got you naked and just turned you around? You were horrified and in pain and when it ended it was ackward. I have heard these stories but the girls usually do not call the guy(s) "my boyfriend."

We don't ever have to do anything we don't want to do, sexually. Different strokes for different folks, and not liking something does not make you a prude. Just tell him you don't enjoy it. Period. My boyfriend teases about that as being 'the final frontier' but he also knows that's never going to happen. Not with me, anyway. Ouch!

uuuuhhhhhh you really need to talk to him about it. Seriously if you cant talk to him about it then maybe you guys arent ready to have sex at all. But that kind of stuff needs your position because he could actually injure you and cause some very unpleasant tearing. Plus you need to work your way up so if it is something you want to try you need to start slow like with a finger and tons of lube.

Alright Im starting to make myself a little sick

I meant permission not position

OOO, Jess! total freudian slip there, you dirty girl!

I agree with 3Sweeties here: it's an EXIT! Things aren't meant to go in

Guys know that NOT all women are cool with this... I think it was an aggressive move he knew he shouldn't make without asking, but thought his chances of you being cool with it were better if he just tested you.

Sorry to be blunt, but you wouldn't just whip out a strap on and assume he likes it, right? This isn't an episode of Dirt.

Actions speak louder than words and his approach says a lot.

Dump his ass and find someone who respects you.

I don't think you should be worried about being a prude. He's probably mortified that he just did that without asking! Either way talk to him about it and tell him how you feel and not to surprise you like that without asking you first and letting you prepare mentally.

Ouch!! If you are afraid to talk to him about it, don't be! It's okay! You can always bring it up in a kind of joking fashion like "Ouch, I wasn't expecting that...it hurts, you know!" and they get the message without you making them feel really dumb. Sometimes it is just an honest mistake on their part, especially if it's dark in the room, etc. If it makes you uncomfortable, you certainly need to say something to him, because if you don't, not only will that bother you, but you will probably not be able to enjoy sex as much anymore because you will constantly be worrying about him doing it again!

anytime I've accidentally hit that location I've gotten bucked off and been given a fair warning. If he was in this spot and finished there without any complaint or feedback from you, perhaps he thought you were into it, you know spontaneity.

I agree with carbizkate.... comment it as joke and then add "not but seriously, it did hurt"

Anal sex is a no no, I have had it once and it isn't pleasant......there is a reason why there is no "bits" to "pleasure" the ladies there. Cause it shouldn't be there in the 1st place!!

my boyfriend did that once or twice saying he thought he was aiming for the "other hole" which i believe in those 2 cases. But there have been a couple others where he was going for that specifically. I told him no and if i did it wouldnt happen on the first try neway. Girls if youve done that i dont know how!! Weve tried it a couple times but he never gets all the way in cuz its to painful for me. I just dont see how girls can do that everytime. ouch