This is not normal behavior. Trust your gut! He sounds very needy and honestly, sound like the type of guy who could end up being very controlling and/or abusive.

The next time he calls, don't answer. See if he leaves a message and how his tone of voice is. See how many times he calls back. If he calls repeatedly, leaves a mean message, or asks if you were out with someone else, it's time to run the other way.

Hmmmm....tough one. I disagree that this isn't normal behavior some guys when they meet a great girl just want to follow up. He could be a really nice guy that is really in to you, but it could also be a sign that he is really needy. I have had BF in the past who were like this and you are right they are generally the nice guy. The best advice I can give you is to take it real slow and see how it goes.

I don't actually like the idea of categorizing one way or the other if this is normal behavior or not. I've dated guys who called everyday who turned out to be just a tad too possessive. But my fiance also called me every day from the instant we met and there was nothing needy or controlling or abusive in the equation. He just genuinely missed me and wanted to connect everyday.

We don't know this guy, so only you can really judge, and I think we know if it's good or bad behavior. That little voice inside tells us. It's just a matter of whether we listen to it or not.

What worries me isn't the calling every day - it's that he says he was thinking of her and asks if she was thinking of him. Clearly, there's only one right answer for her to say, and that's manipulative and weird.

Maybe he's moving too fast with his sentiments and that's what got you uncomfortable. You need to move to your own rhythm and phase him along the way, because it seems that he's hurrying it up (which is fine, but if you have to be comfortable with it).

If he's not very happy with it, and won't work with you with your comfort level, I'd say that's a red flag.

Good luck.

How you feel is totally normal. I've been on lots of dates with "the good guys" and thats how it always is in the begining, trust me. They go crazy for you, always thinking about you and wanting to hear from you. It's not bad, just be prepared cause that won't last forever. Not that he's not going to like you as much anymore if you continue dating or getting more serious, its just one of those weird things guys do. I don't think there is anything wrong, just keep getting to know him and if he's making you happy, that's all that matters. Hope this helped.

Ok I think you are feeling really weirded out and get that groaning feeling when he asks you. You might not be into him as much as you thought. If you feel bad now at the beginning, it's a good sign that you might need to move to calmer waters. You might really want a guy that keeps you guessing. This guy is too straight forward and it takes away the mysteriousness from him. Sure, there might be times when you feel like he is a great guy that you don't want to lose, but honestly..there are plenty of other guys out there..ones that will drive you crazy..and that's what it's really about..right?

That categorization crap and calling a certain behavior 'not normal' is unfounded. My husband actually sounds like this guy when we first started dating. I also was not used to such attention but he readily gave it with his open heart and he still never ceases to give it to me even to this today. I really had my apprehensions about him back then thinking..."So, does he just want in my pants? He's kind of moving fast." At my own risk of heart break, I took a chance on him. Eventually, I found out he was just a faithful nerd looking for the exact same thing I was - a life partnership. Women aren't the only ones who are sensitive, romantic, affectionate, and considerate. There really are men out there with a lot of love to give as well.

I, too, have dated a guy like this. I think he genuinely does like you and want to hear from you, but you need to be comfortable with the amount of disclosure he is giving to you. Sometimes people's rhythms just don't mesh. Talk to him about it, tell him that you like him and want to see where this could go, but that you need to slow the pace a bit. Trust me, if he's truly into you, he won't run away. If he is worth keeping around, he will respect your boundaries and wait for you to catch up to him.

If you want someone calling you every single second to ask if you were thinking about him then go ahead and stick to that kind, but clearly this girl is uncomfortable with it so im not going to tell her to just accept it. If you think you need to set him straight about it, by all means.

I would say that his feelings might get hurt if you tell him that this is making you uncomfortable. It's hard to tell someone that although you like them, them telling you that they think about you all the time and asking for the same in return is a little forward (if that made ANY sense). I would stop answering the phone every time he calls, then at least you can distance yourself a little. Hopefully, if you really do like him and want to continue the relationship, it'll just die down on its own.

But all of the advice above has been really good. Trust your gut. How long has it been since the date? There's a good chance this behavior will continue and get worse.

dont listen to luisa-she always has negative advice, no matter what the topic is. You could be talking about how perfect your guy is and she would still tell you to break up with him.

Anyway, I think with the info you provided its hard to tell. He could just be a nice guy and genuinly thinks about you and wants to know how you are doing. But if you are worried about it seeming too clingy and/or controlling, keep an eye for other signs...like..does he actually listen to you , or is he just waiting for his turn to talk? Does he get mad and/or jealous if you are unable to answer his phone calls? Just keep an open mind about it, but dont let yourself be blinded to the signs if this is infact controlling, instead of just a general interest in you.

I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade. And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.-Ron White

He sounds like a clinging vine. If he's this annoying already, I'd be worried how much worse it would get in the future.

I was interested to see what other posters thought of this topic so checked back in. Obviously we all have varying opinions here! But basically, I think it comes down to what this girl is feeling on her radar from this guy. If it feels like something you're not comfortable with, then by all means, trust that feeling. But if you're questioning it because it's new behavior you've never gotten from a guy before, then why not give it a chance? But as I said in my earlier post - we don't know him, so only you really know what the feeling is here.

Let us know what you ended up doing, okay? I'd be interested.

I would be wary of him like a lot of the posters here. He's being pushy and aggressive it seems.

me too, I'm bothered not by the fact that he calls every day and says he's thinking of you, but because he asks you to say it back.. that would weird me out. It's not a deal breaker or anything, but if there are other signs of clinginess, don't turn a blind eye to them. Also maybe you are not as head over heels for him as he is for you (or perhaps just extra cautious)? Maybe he is not hearing it back at all and therefore resorts to asking?

Hey...I am the original poster. Anyway...he seemed like a nice guy so I went out on a second date with him last night and it was the same situation. He asked me like five minutes into the date when he was going to see me again...and I was like "How about we get through this date before we worry about the next one" Anyway he kept asking me questions like I was interviewing for a damn job..."Where do u see urself in five years" stuff like that. I had an okay time, and I would have possibly given him another chance until the end of the night when he asked if he could see me again today, to which I replied I already had plans. So he asked "What about Monday or Tuesday?" Well I have a busy schedule and meeting men is not very high on my list of priorities, so I let him know that the next available time for me to see him would be about a week from Monday...he acted annoyed and was like "oh ur one of those girls....that plays games"

Well that irritated the f*ck outta me...I have a career and am a full time student...so I don't have a lot of spare time, plus next weekend I already had a date lined up...when I told him that he got all irritated and was like well maybe I should let u take care of ur business with the other guy then....too which I replied "U do what u gotta do for u" and he was like well I will call you sometime.

So I just told him...don't bother to call me...overall he came off very clingy and needy and I can't deal with that..I have a job I love, an education to finish, and a young niece who is the light of my life, and a man is the last thing I care about at the moment...if I meet someone...great! otherwise ....oh well.

Oh and he committed the king of all offenses with me...he told me to tone down my language....and I was like "I have a daddy...I don't need another one...Thanks" I hate when men act like I am their f*cking child...I do cuss alot and I admit that...but I have no plans on stopping anytime soon...that is just how I am

Good for you, soccerfreak! That guy sounds like a jerk--they do come in all shapes.

How you describe him, he seems like the type that plays the switch-a-roo on a woman.
Something like, if he made a mistake he'll put it on you. ARUGH!!! I hate those types.

PS...to Syriian...you are right, I also don't think I was as into him as I thought...I think I just felt like i needed to be into him, because he was a "nice guy" There is a guy who I met at my friends birthday party about three weeks ago and we exchanged phone numbers and he is also a "nice guy" he calls me everyday and says hey I was thinking about u and never expects me to say anything in return...but the difference is...I am always thinking about him and I am comfortable just calling him up at any time and saying hey I miss you things of that nature...we have our second date next weekend and I never feel nervous when he calls me or anything...we are just cool together...so I think a little bit of that plays into it as well, from him there has never been pressure for me to say anything I was uncomfortable saying...he says how he feels with no expectation of something in return and he understood when he asked me out on a second date and I told him I couldnt go out with him for three weeks because of some traveling I had to do for work...he was like cool..I will miss you and look forward to seeing you then...

Sorry for the long post, but thanks for the advice

After reading your comment, i think you made the right decision. You guys are only casualy dating (if even that) and he is already asking you to change things about yourself? Yeah, definatly run as fast and far away as you can!

I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade. And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.-Ron White

Ugh, nevermind. Now, my hubby totally doesn't sound like this *sshole. I wish some of these initial posts wouldn't be so vague. More details next time, please.

Wow, glad you figured out he was a weirdo before you got too far in. Creepy that it was like he had a list of questions he wanted to ask to find out if you were, basically, an acceptable candidate. I dated a guy like that- he was so controlling and needy, after 4 weeks he told me he loved me, obviously I didnt say it back, which he claimed to be fine with, except after that he told me every five seconds that he loved me, it was very uncomfortable. He irritated me so much I finally dumped him and he seemed to think it was totally out of the blue, he thought everything was fine- he obviously wasnt paying attention.

I would take luisamapacha's advice. I mean this could turn stalker like that and thats worse than guy who doesn't call the next day.

no its not normal, besides being a needy future stalker, the man could be trying to build closeness and intimacy because he wants to get in your pants. maybe you should screen your calls

soccorfreak:

i read the original post, and i was like "ewwww". then i had to read what my fellow-wannabe-dr.Lauras had to say. and some got really touhy about it because their man is like this (which is fine).

first off; to me, these are red flags. this guy sounds like one of those guys who are all lovey-dovey, and the next thing you know, you're locking in the dungeon (his basement).

if you were thirsty for attention, he would've hooked you, and then you would've got abused by this guy. you see how quick he flipped the script when you didn't return the sentiments?!!?!

Nut-Bucket! possible crack fiend.

personally, i don't like when guys are THAT clingy. what the f*ck you mean, "i miss you. do you miss me?"?!

hell naaaaw! thanks for the dinner and you were cute, but come the f*ck on. this ain't eHarmony.

amd i hate going on dates that feel like interviews. you don't need to know what my plan is for the next 5 years . . .not until i know if you're gonna be around for the next 5 dates!

then he goes and make the "playing games" comment?!

dude, if you wasn't so throwed off and thirsty, maybe a girl wouldn't have to duck and dodge from your a*s!

luckily Soccorfreak, you had good sense. look at the bright side, you got 2 free meals.

and i got ya back luisamapacha.

yeah, she's harsh, but it's the truth. i rather her tell me or anyone else the truth than to sugarcoat and bullsh*t people for the sake of being nice . . .that's what recycling is for.

Ditto to #27. Just cause you don't like to hear it doesn't mean it's not true.

When I read the first post, I was thinking it seemed a bit full on for a guy you'd been on one date with calling up all the time to ask if you were thinking of him. Sounds like you made the right choice soccerfreak to pursue the other guy instead.

I was going to send you a post that said: RUN!! But, I just read your follow up and it looks like that's exactly what you did. Kudos to you!

I agree with Asia, soccerfreak I am so happy you let him go before he got his hooks in you. I do not think you were cruel at all, you were keeping it real and it's obvious he couldn't handle it.

shallan this isn't normal behavior this is obsessive and abnormal behavior if given in to it he will control your every move so don't cave. if you want to test it don't answer when he calls let your voice mail or answering machine pickup. record the time and save the message if there is one. if he is obsessive he will call back in no less than 20 minutes and continue to just ignore we may be female and love the phone but we can't stay on it forever we do have a life

It never ceases to amaze me just how much class some men have. Really....ugh. Well, at least be glad that you were able to see his true colors so early on. I pity the girl that will be stupid enough to fall for his bs in the future, though.

This would weird me out and make me completely uncomfortable. First stop answering the phone everytime he calls he is being very obssesive and that is not normal behavior.

insecurity.

If you like that he is calling you then it is ok. But the fact that he is asking you if you are thinking of him is a little weird. Of course your not always thinking of him!! He should not always be thinking of you. It sounds a little creepy. If you really like this guy tell him to back off a bit & see if he respects your wishes & does so..if not get rid of him. This is not normal behaviour!!

My boyfriend and I do this all the time, but then again, we have been together for almost four years.
I personally like this kind of a relationship.

It all comes down to personality. Do YOU want this type of sweet-sticky-clingy guy? Does it make you feel loved, or grossed-out? It all comes down to how compatible you two are. There is no way to categorize whether his behavior is okay - it all depends on what you want.

sh*t soccerfreak, this guy sounds whack!
always trust your instincts. If you have to ask "Is this guy normal?" then he probably isn't =P

An update to the update...this psycho ass mother f*cker...has called and texted 15 times in two days...i had been ignoring him...finally i texted him back to please leave me alone...to which he responded

"Well that is fine you are ugly and fat and need to learn to put on make up...and the entire time i was with you i was thinking how i am too good to be with this fat cow...but i wanted to f*ck you so i hung around"

Unf*ckingbelievable...I know I am fabulous so it doesn't bother me, but I am certainly not going to stoop to his level by even responding to that sh*t...he is 36 flippin years old....grow up

Clearly he is a bit off his rocker

Just block his number/email and let that be the end of it.