There seems to be this stereotype when it comes to men and sex — that all they care about is getting it, and getting it as frequently as possible. But I’ve actually found that if anything, men (the good ones, at least) seem to be more concerned with pleasing their partner than themselves. In fact, this need to please can actually create a situation in which the man ends up putting a lot of pressure on himself while he's under the covers.
Now as women, we know that the female orgasm is not always a simple feat, and in fact, sometimes the possibility of climax is far more dependent on our mood than any of his maneuvers. So my question to you is: why are men so determined to please no matter what? Ladies, do tell, is it really about making us feel good or do you think it's more about preserving their masculinity in the bedroom?
Converse
Sandro
Hanky Panky
well obviously part of it is their desire to please us, but i think mainly their concern is being perceived as a "good lover"
1My ex was one of those men who was very giving and tried really hard to please in bed however I believe it was ultimately about feeling like "real man". He would often infer that a "real man" pleases a lady in bed and just the way he would talk about it and act afterwards gave me the impression that it wasn't about me so much as an ego boost for himself. Don't get me wrong, he was a sweetheart and I love that he was so selfless sometimes. If thinking of it as an ego boost is how it has to be for a man to think about someone else instead of himself then so be it.
2I think only a man could tell us what they are really trying to achieve. It could be a mixture of both. Everything is not so cut and dry.
3That would depend on the guy and the relationship you have with them, I'd think.
4I believe my husband is sencere when he tells me he wants to make me feel good, and that he doesn't care if he is pleased first or not. I don't think it has anything to do with "preserving his masculinity" but with the fact that he is generally interested in making me happy sexually.
5It seems to be that those two are not exclusive from one another... his inability to please would deal a blow to his masculinity. So, really I'd say it's both.
6I think it's a healthy mix of both. While my bf tells me he loves to please me and that it's the best part, i also think that he wants to preserve that masculinity, and that's fine with me too.
7brooke I'm with you. I know my boyfriend finds it to be very important to make sure I'm uhhh "happy."
8My boyfriend always puts me first when it comes to sex, and after I orgasm, he's always like, "You can go for a few more, right?" He always makes sure I'm satisfied before he is.
9I believe it's both. Ditto to what brookrene said!
10What Brooke said. Both. It makes him feel good that I feel good. Plus, he's made it quite apparent to me that it's a huge turn on for him when he sees me, umm, climax because not too far afterwards does he soon follow suit. Obviously, it's very gratifying for him as well to see me satisfied.
11I think it's a combo of both. As humans we always try to please others while at the same time try to please ourselves.
12Seriously why read so much into it. It doesn't matter why he's pleasing you...just be grateful and excited he is!
13Maybe it's like an animal instinct. If they didn't care then maybe you would loose interest in them. Maybe men worry if they don 't please you'll find someone else who will. Something like that. Then again
14there are plenty of men who aim to please themselves.
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