When a new co-worker asks you to go see a show with him, using the company's box seat at a local venue, you say yes because you assume it's a group thing. When you find out that no one else is going, you’re very uncomfortable but you don’t want to assume it’s a date. You decide to just play it by ear and keep it really casual.
The day of the show, your coworker casually mentions that his ex-girlfriend will be there, and that he needs you to pretend to be on a date with him. You’re totally shocked that he would just presume that would be OK with you. Not only are you not that close, but you don't even like him that much, especially like that! You’re supposed to be leaving with him in less than an hour, so how would you handle this?
Stiefel
Matches Fashion
Hanky Panky
first of all if a male coworker asks me to see a show, the first thing i would ask is "who else is going" thats the normal sane persons reaction, to assume its a group thing is not.
If after you find out and go anyway, thinking its a casual thing, than again....your brain is messed up because dudes just dont ask chicks for a casual alone get together to see a show
and if by that point i am complete brain damaged and are still going, and he says something about an ex girlfriend i would punch him right in the ear
1Exactly! Knowing myself and my rules, i don't just assume anything.
2I would totally ask who else is going. And no, no one gets to use me to get someone else's attention.
I am also surprised that you did not ask who was going and just assumed that it was an office group thing. I would bail and let him know that you are in no mood to be arm candy to make an ex jealous what are we 12?
3I agree with everyone. I'd have checked about the group thing as soon as he asked. But IF I was in her position, I would totally bail on the guy.
4I'm with everyone else -- be prepared. Check first.
However, if I did fall for this, I'd totally bail on him.
5I almost always assume it's is a casual/non-date thing when any guy who asks me to do something. And I'm almost always wrong. As a late bloomer, guys were never interested in me until my mid-20s, so I'm use to thinking guys don't want to date me. So I've had several "trick" dates. I usually just keep things friendly, insist on paying for anything I eat/drink that evening, and avoid any physical touching. I definitely would not pretend to be his girlfriend in front of his ex. And then I make sure I never go out with them alone again. I think I'd rather live through the awkward "date" than ask what his intentions are--I would be so embarrassed if it were just a friend thing.
6Um, the retardation!
Id ask who else was going first - I think only a moron would fall for that.
But, to play along - Id probably go, and embarass the hell out of him.
This way, take in a free show and be totally entertained.
Tada!
7yes ask first but if i did not i would just tell him that i am not ok with the situwation and i am not going to go.
8uh, how about not being a doormat and just saying "i don't think so." Nothing wrong with assuming others are going, especially if you never thought they'd stoop to a trick date, but to be so childish as to have to pretend for an ex? Stand proud and say nadda chance!
9I'm going to be the desenting vote here. Depending on what "show" it was, I would do it. With the stance "we are a date in public, but leaving the theatre in seperate cabs."
I wouldn't bail on a great show, besides, how much could the supposide ex-gf be watching them?
10i think i would've been more curious as to who else was going (i'm picky about who i spend time with)before answering to that.
but if i got hosed into going, i would tell him that i wear a size 7 and i would like my shoes delivered to my house. (he would have to pay me in Louboutins).
11looking past the whole "you should ask" part (you should), um, i'd bail. he's obviously extremely immature. it would be a lesson for him AND i doubt it would rub him the wrong way (considering his actions in the first place). i'd call him and tell him that i was extremely uncomfortable with being used as a way to make someone jealous, and that i had no desire to get involved in his relationship with his ex. i'd also say that normally i wouldn't bail at the last minute, but the circumstances that i accepted under had changed, and i was sorry but i hoped he could find someone else. have a great night, a-buh-bye!
12Yeah, I would definitely ask who else is going first.
But to answer the question posed by Dear...I would tell the co-worker he owes me for doing this. And then when I don't want to do something at work (like writing a stupid report) i'll get him to do it.
13ha ha, I'm with the person who said it would depend on what show it was. I would not pass up great seats to an amazing show.
That said, I would pretend to agree with his little scheme until we got there. Then I would tell him that if he lays a finger on me I'm going to file a sexual harrassment suit against him.
But at least I'd get to see the show.
14I would tell him no. He sounds like an immature weirdo.
15"hey loser, unfortunately i just got a call that my sister's neighbor's cat needs to have her teeth brushed. can't make it tonight."
16I would be so psyched and totally into it. I would probably ask him how I should act to make his ex jealous. I know it's imature but stuff like this sounds like fun. Unless it's soome crazy ex and she starts some sort fo fight or something that would suck
17Easy. I would refuse to go. I would tell him that I wouldn't want to get in between him and his ex. That's an awkward place to be, to say the least.
Also, not to sound arrogant, but I'm picky about who I date, and who I'm seen with in that way. Just saying.
18What a DB move that would be. I think I would say, "Gee, Fred, I thought this was a professional event. I don't think it would be right for me to be part of your personal life that way."
19oh i would have so much fun acting like a crazy date. i would embarrass him so badly haha
20I would simply walk out on him. No need to continue the pseudo-date further.
21I agree with all of the above. And if he became more 'persistent', that's what my mace is for
22I'm not really sure what the debate here would be...why in the world would you not just cancel your plans? Are there really any women who would still feel obligated to go? I mean, you have to be sort of polite about it because it's your co-worker, but geez!
23First of all, you weren't tricked into a date. It's not a date at all - you are being used to get his ex-gf jealous!! You are arm candy.
If you don't like this idea, then cancel out. If you really want to see the show, then go and play along.
If you want revenge, near the end of the show, scream, "I can't believe you cheated on me with that supermodel!!!!" and slap him in the face.
He'll get what he wants (his ex's attention), and you'll get your revenge.
24Obviously this guy tricked you into this; he's either interested in you in a romantic way and doesn't have a clue on how to ask a woman out -but I highly doubt this hypothesis-, or he's trying to make his ex jealous and shamelessly trying to use you for that. Either way, I'd be furious if a guy -especially someone I'm not interested in- would do that to me. If I were you, I would politely but fermely tell him how I feel about this situation and cancel. You don't have to pretend to be anybody's date if you don't feel like it, you don't owe him anything. He, on the contrary, owes you an apology.
25Good luck. Bye-bye
His behavior is extremely manipulative. I think you have to draw the line at pretending to be his date - especially for such an immature reason. If you want to avoid office tension, you could laugh it off: "I don't think so, I don't need any ex-girlfriends hexing me. Let's keep this business, ok?"
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