Sorry, but to tell you the truth...I would say ABSOUTLY NOT!

hm. i don't really understand what the big deal is. maybe he is thinking that it will help out her career too or that she could offer some insight when business comes up in conversations. this isn't an important friend of his; it seems more political/business so I wouldn't really care.

But I would ask him to leave the reception early if possible

i would feel funny about that. i mean if it was a girl best friend of his who he has know for 15 years.... that would be ok.

I would say HELL NO. Sorry, but I am possessive over my man.

It's business not pleasure. I agree with TidalWave. It's not like he's trying to hide it from you. He's trying to make a good impression on his business. Have him make you some hot mint tea when he comes in. I wouldn't expect him to stay out late considering the circumstances. It will give him an early out in that you have the flu.

Unless your his mother you have no business telling him he can't do something. That would never work for me! Clearly this is all business to him so I would not be surprised that he is taking his bookkeeper if he is using this opportunity to schmooze than he should absolutely bring a work colleague I wouldn't want to go to a wedding for someone that is purely a business associate. Yuck!

I still don't know how I would feel about it.
If that was me - asking to go to a business dinner/party with one of my men collegues from work - I am sure he would say he wans't comfortable with it either.
So it goes both ways.

If you're about to be married, you should trust your man enough to be okay with this. Also, it seems as though the bookkeeper is trustworthy too, or what you know of her. If you get mad, get mad at the situation, not your fiance, because he doesn't know how you feel about it until you tell him. Remember that being possessive is overrated.

I'd say something just to let him know that it bothers me but I can't stop him from going. So, I'll sulk and get over it. No biggie.

Yikes I never thought so many people would be okay with this. I would say HELL NO and break off the engagement for him even suggesting it!

AnnaLove: oh my! you would rather have your fiance lose his business just because you are selfish and have too many insecurities to be comfortable with him going to a business meeting/wedding with his co-worker?

Wow, AnnaLove that's very extreme and shows that you have a lot of insecurity. I honestly don't really think there's anything to get upset over here - if this happened to me, it wouldn't occur to me to get upset over it. I mean, you WERE going to be his date initially, the only reason he's taking someone else is because you can't make it, and he's been up front about who he's taking with him so he's not trying to hide anything. If he had something to hide (i.e. an affair with the woman he's taking as his date), he would have just told you he went solo. He took this woman for networking purposes. There's nothing to get upset over.

In this case it's not a date but more something that NEEDS to be done for the business. I think wives of business men should know that their husbands need to represent themselves (or the other way around with businesswoman and houseman!). Stuff like that is never a "date"...

I would tell him how I feel(uncomfortable, but understanding), and I'd probably ask him to bring home some food for me later.

After all, he would be coming home to me that night. I would have a problem with it if it was a random woman and not a coworker.

In this situation, my boyfriend would use my illness as an excuse to skip the wedding. That's why he chose a career that doesn't make him kiss ass, because he would probably be fired.

Sorry, gonna have to jump in the "hell no" boat. NOT OKAY.

Wow, anna that is a definite extreme. Business is business and it is misleading to call this a date when a date implies romance. This is clearly not romance, the person going may have to have some kind of business contact so it would make sense for her to go!

I am kind of the exact opposite situation. I have to travel all of the time with my co-worker who is young and cute. He has a gf and I have a bf, so there is absolutely nothing weird about it. I would be appalled if my bf asked me not to travel FOR WORK with my co-worker. We are both adults and can conduct ourselves as such. I could never imagine telling him no in the circumstances that are presented here.

Nope, this wouldn't fly with me AT ALL.

Eh, if he's being up-front about it, there's nothing wrong. If you're not comfortable with it, then either you are insecure, or you have doubts about his capacity for fidelity due to something he's said or done in the past. If it's the former, then it's your problem, not his, and if it's the latter, you shouldn't be with him to begin with.

I think it's a bit tacky to try to shmooze and talk business on the groom's wedding day. Weddings are about celebrating love...which is why I would NOT be thrilled if my fiance invited any other woman.

I wouldn't be too happy...and I agree with bluebellknoll.

But then having him go alone...and being hit on by all the single ladies out there...doesn't seem too great either!

Wow. People feel really strongly about this. I would not see him bringing his co-worker to an event in which he is basically going to to work as a date! It's business. And that's just fine by me. I understand it is a wedding, and it is about love, but if the boyfriends plans have always been to schmooze up to the guy, not celebrate the love, then he's going there strictly on business and bringing his bookkeeper is not inappropriate. I'd probably be happy to have gotten sick and not have to attend with him and listen to all that schmoozing!

I might be a little upset initially (I have jealousy issues I'm working on), but overall, I'd be pretty okay with it. It's a business thing. They work together. She's met the secretary (it was the secretary, right?). Honestly, I'd be happy not to go!

Well.............I would never dream of telling my fiance what to do in any situation, including one like this. But he would *never* bring anyone else to an event like that, and if I was sick, he'd go alone and schmooze on his own.

I trust my fiance completely. I see no problem with letting him take another woman as a date under such circumstances (although I seriously doubt he ever would, even with my blessings). I would be angry if he considered another woman BEFORE me, but in this case, no big deal.

I think maybe the word "date" makes it seem inappropriate. If the question were would you let your fiance "attend" an event with a co-worker in a strictly platonic situation . . . However, saying that, my fiance would never even ask to do something like that. There is no way in hell he'd let me go on a "date" with a co-worker to a wedding. I think everyone has different rules in different relationships, and no one needs to pass judgement on another member of Popsugar and tell them they have jealousy issues.

shopper90210, it's not about the fact that he's with his co-worker, it's the fact that it's a WEDDING. If my man asked a co-worker to accompany him to something that was actually a business function (like a luncheon), I wouldn't be too happy but I probably wouldn't protest. A wedding is not only a completely social setting, it's about celebrating love, like what bluebellknoll said. So there is absolutely no way I would be comfortable with my significant other schmoozing and talking business on someone's special love-y day.

Lmao, wow. I just went on a business trip with two men and a woman and hung out with each of them on an individual basis. It's called business. First of all, the title is completely misleading. This bookkeeper is not going to be hanging on her fiancee's arm or dancing and drinking with him all night. She's just accompanying him for a business associate's wedding.

In any case, if I were in her shoes, I strongly suspect my husband would apologetically decline the invitation and state his reasons for not being able to attend i.e. taking care of his poor, sick wife. However, if this wedding is absolutely important for a better business relationship with his associate, then I will hope he has some fun witnessing the ceremony and eating fine foods. My husband is a very helpful to those he has a good working relationship with. So, if he could help a good bookkeeper who has helped him, he would regardless of their sex.

At home, I would probably be fuming for being stuck alone and sick, and missing out on that decadent wedding event. Knowing my husband, he would be constantly thinking of me and keeping me updated on the event. He'd probably bring home some of that luxurious wedding cake for my developing sweet tooth. Haha.

if i was that sick i doubt i'd give a crap. if i was not feeling like going and he suggested it i'd say fine. who cares? if he wants to do the book keeper i'll give him the rope to hang himself and then i'll know he's a loser i don't need to waste anymore time on. people are who they are; if he wants the book keeper and is willing to act on it saying no to a wedding isn't going to stop anything.

I was gonna say! Why can't he just go alone? And fine, I understand it's just better to have someone to tag along with you to any event but why not take someone totally neutral like a SISTER?

I wouldn't play the insecurity card either, that's total BS. Think of the setting. Wedding, love in the air, and with probably little chance for the fiancé and associate to actually speak there's so much time for him and the date to just soak in the energy and it's so uncomfortable to think about. In this case it's not so much a matter of trust but just the discomfort in knowing your love is in a special celebration with someone else. Whether insecurity really is the case or not doesn't change anything. She's still not happy either way so just drop it. Gosh I hate that; might as well say "oh well get over yourself."

I wouldn't stop him from going if this is essential to his business but I would be incredibly upset. Not necessarily with him but the situation.

I would voice very loudly my distaste in his decision.

I'm going to jump in with the HELL NO! people. How exactly is the bookkeeper going to be any help? Is she going to be writing everything the guy says to have it in the notes for later?!?! Its a wedding! Come on, its rude and inappropriate to be there for any reason other than celebrating the couple's love and new union. If it was actually a business/office function, ok fine, I can see why you would want someone involved in you business there...but other than that...the "business" part is completely an excuse for her going.

And I agree with vanprooyen, everyone has their own rules and comfort zones within their own relationships, just b/c some people have a problem with this is doesn't make them crazy/jealous.
I agree with KadBunny too!

and a person can't go solo to a wedding because????

I really don't see the part where he has to take the bookeeper. No really.

I agree with RockAndRepublic. I don't see why he HAS to take the bookkeeper. He can go stag, you know. Normally I don't have a problem with these kinds of things, I mean I still meet up with my exes every now and then because we're friends, and I would allow my guy to do the same thing, but this situation is just a little weird.

I hate going to weddings without a date. I don't know anyone, I feel awkward, I forgot the names of the people I just met... if I could bring even a casual acquaintance, I'd feel better. especially if I was additionally nervous because it's a networking event.
I would say go with your bookkeeper darling, but you better bring me back some wedding cake and remember who is dancing with you at YOUR wedding.
I would just like to treat my boyfriend the way I'd want him to treat me in the same situation. If I was going to a wedding for networking purposes that he couldn't attend, would it really be fair of him to tell me I couldn't go with another business associate?

This is just one of those sucky situations you can't really do much about.
I'd be upset at the thought of him taking another woman to a wedding. I don't think my boyfriend would do that anyway. But in your situation it sounds like he's been very upfront with you about the whole thing. He doesn't want to go stag so he brings a business associate, who will at least be there for an objective. I get it but I still wouldn't like it. I'm with the above posters....he should leave the reception early.
My boyfriend has a profession that calls for him to "kiss ass" sometimes and I don't like it at all. My opinion of good business is very different from his. So it's a topic we don't necessarily see eye-to-eye on.

It all depends on how he handles it.
Scenario A: he asks me if I'm ok with him going with another date, he shows concern about leaving me alone sick, he calls from the wedding to check in and say hi, he comes home from the reception early, I don't have any past reasons not to trust him = TOTALLY FINE

Scenario B: he doesn't ask how I feel about it, he seems oblivious to the fact that I feel sick because he's more interested in his plans for the evening, he comes home late and drunk and talking about what a great time he had = TOTALLY NOT FINE

I would say its okay...business. I would be pissed if he stayed at the reception the entire time or super late into the night.

i think this is fine. i trust my fiance completely, and even though it's a wedding, i still see why it's seen as a business function -- if the groom is a potential investor, it would be inappropriate to snub his invitation.

and i have to defend why the bookkeeper needs to go. my boss & mentor frequently took me with him to many business meetings/events, so i could sit in on high-level meetings before actually having to run them. i see the fiance taking the bookkeeper as a way of helping her network and potentially advance her career, and after having someone help me out like that, i think it's totally acceptable.

I could care less - at least someone would get to enjoy it. My FI has taken our (female) best friend to a number of events when I can't go. Whatever- I know him well enough to know that I don't need to worry.

Um, this would be a big NO for me. I am in total agreement with vanprooyen. I don't have jealousy issues, but there are some things that you just don't do in a relationship, and if the situation were reversed my fiance would not be okay with it either. There is truly no need for him to have to go with another person. I would actually think that people would find it strange for him to be bringing a date when I was sick. Why not just ride together with another couple?

Also, the way that this was posted, it said that "you can't help but find it weird"....follow your intuition!

I have to jump in and say that a wedding is not an appropriate event to take a business anyone to. First of all, if this was MY wedding -id be really insulted at the etiquette breach performed. I invited a couple to my wedding so they can enjoy a celebration that is very important to me. So if one person gets ill, Id have a difficult time understanding why some person I have never met is attending in that person's place UNLESS I know them. If you RSVP to a function -especially a wedding- I think it is extremely rude to bring someone not invited because you cant go alone. Id like to point out that a business meeting is absolutely 100% fine - but to bring a colleague to a wedding to discuss business?? That seems so incredibly tacky. Id be mad at my boyfriend for being rude.

I agree with KadBunny. I don't see why he has to go with a date in the first place.

I think the important thing is being honest about how you feel.

Me, I wouldn't mind, but I might have a few suggestions -- like please check in with me and please tell others that I would have come but I'm sick, so they don't make crude assumptions.

But if you really aren't OK with it you shouldn't pretend to be. That bitterness will grow over time, even if you don't remember where it's from. These are exactly the kind of mundane things husbands & wives have to work through together.

Since its a wedding, the situation does seem strange otherwise I dont think I would mind. I trust him completely but then I wouldnt be thrilled about it.

Yeah, I would feel a little uncomfortable about this situation. It seems like a very strange decision. First of all, it's a wedding. Is the groom really going to have time to schmooze with your fiance & a bookkeeper (second of all, bookkeeper?! really?) A business lunch, a happy hour, or even a cocktail party--these are acceptable places to pitch a business idea, but at all the weddings I've been to, the bride & groom barely have time to say more than "hi" to anyone. Also, not that I'm a "it's MY day" type of girl, but I'd be a little annoyed if a guest at my wedding was trying to get my husband to invest in his company during the reception. I mean, sure he should go & be social with the potential investor, but it's a little strange that he needs the bookkeeper there given that it's unlikely they'll be talking business. Maybe I don't fully understand the way his business is set up, but um, I just don't see how a bookkeeper needs to be there. At the very least, you should let him know your reservations.

coming from a man this guy is way out of line. its morally wrong.

thank you fabric 2000! No man who truly loves his wife and cares for the fact that she is feeling ill would bring ANOTHER WOMAN to a wedding!!! It doesn't matter how faithful he is or how much you trust him you do not bring another woman besides your wife/fiance/girlfriend to a wedding unless you are unattached and are just bringing a casual date! Whatever happened to etiquette?