Is this a surprise to anyone? My BF is over there now and this his 3rd time! He knows it's his duty but when he was here with me he would get panic attacks at night. It scared me but all I can do is be there for him b/c I LOVE him sooo much.

I was browsing to see if Sugar had any military wives/gfs/fiances etc groups and I couldn't find any.

So I started one! Its called CammieSugar and here is the link, hopefully it works... http://teamsugar.com/group/1101970

I just started it like 5 min ago, so give me a bit to get some good info on there!

This is so sad...I cannot imagine how hard it is to be away from your spouse (and a sweet new baby, like in the pic!) for so long and have a reprieve only to go right back.
I do not envy you, cabaker and shop, but know that a lot of people are aware of the sacrifices you make and are very grateful.

Oooo Oooo!!!! I want to join!!! Yay for Cabakers new group!

It took my brother over a year to get back to "normal" after he left the army, and that was after mulitiple tours and I believe around 10 years of service.

Sadly, I don't think my sister in law will ever be normal again and she will be going back in a few months.

One of my many friends who have been deployed is finally coming out of the trance he has been in, and it has been about 2 years.

What we need is better treatment for our soldiers. We need to make sure they are taken care of after they leave the armed forces. We should be showing them the love and care they deserve.

Shopaholic, I thought the same thing. Is anyone really surprised that it's difficult for people to adjust to civilian life after returning from active military duty? Haven't we been observing this phenomenon since WWI?

Thanks sooo much ladies!
I will join that group right now Cabaker!

Thanks, Cakebaker, can't wait to join!

It sounds like a great group you're starting! I just loved the look on the baby's face when he's seeing his dad! He's so joyful.

I'm curious (and worried) to see what kind of long-term effects the psychological issues will have on generations to come.

These pictures are tremendously beautiful! Especially the first one!!!

That first picture melts my heart

PTSD is something that can be diagnosed years later. Head injuries can also be something that shows up later. My husband's unit hit multiple IEDs while in theatre. One in particular was so memorable to them that they call each other on that date every year. One of the guys that was in the humvee that took the worst of it shows up at the reunion a year after they got home walking with a cane. He had an uncontrollable shake, he was bloated from the steriods he was having to take, he was just in terrible shape. And this guy had been a marathon runner. Everyone was shocked at his appearance. Come to find out he had suffered a severe concussion from the blast of the IED and the effects of it didn't manifest until months later.

I don't know what the answer is but if you have soldiers with undiagnosed ailments being sent back to war so quickly, then not only are you putting the soldier at risk, you're putting the soldiers around him at risk too.

I have friends who served in Iraq who cannot celebrate the 4th of July because the sounds of the fireworks triggers PTSD. I can't even imagine being in such a stressfull situation overseas for a year! I have so much respect and admiration for the troops. We need to really Support the Troops and take care of them properly when they come home!

My first reaction to this story is "well no sh*t". My husband is 5 months into a 15 month deployment, and he already has the date for his deployment after that. That's hardly any time at home and it is hard to reset.

And PinkAngelMonkey has a group on here called "Something for the Troops" that is for wives and girlfriends and family members of troops: http://teamsugar.com/group/155376

wow i have no loved ones or friends there other than my stupid exhusband that will be going to iraq in 6 months, my heart goes out to you strong girls that have loved ones in iraq or any other war zone, keep your head up and know that i pray for your loved ones and you girls every night (in general everyone), may god bless you and your loved ones

I can't imagine how horrible it must be to finally get away from constant stress and boredom and finally be reunited with friends and family, only to know that you have to go back again to that place. I definitely think that the military should really take the best possible care of its soldiers who are between deployments by providing always-available counciling, group meetings, and other services.

It always really upsets me when I hear about all the cuts soldiers take when they are done with their tours (that ironically Republicans, who claim to be so 'military-friendly' propose: http://www.house.gov/budget_democrats/congressional_budgets/fy2004/vetsc...). These men and women have sacrificed enough for us and our country--they shouldn't have their pensions, healthcare, and mental health sacrificed too, by the very country they'd die to serve!

This is a great worry of mine, and it has nothing to do with party affiliation. First of all I'm scared for the immediate damages on the soldiers and their families, but also for the long term ones. A lot of Veterans are unable to work when they come home, or function socially for the rest of their lives. Both the small and the big implications are important, and it worries me so much because time and time again have we failed to properly take care of our Veterans post-war, and I'm afraid this time will not be an exception. There should be the basics, like health and dental insurance, pensions, and also psychological treatments available, and family therapy for thoase who need it at the very least.

My heart goes out to all of you who have loved ones who are in Iraq or going there soon.

thoase=those

That is the cutest baby I have ever seen in my entire life!

Sadly, if you look at the US budget's voting record, and who proposes/votes on what cuts, it does have to do with party affiliation. I would suggest that everyone write letters to these Legislators and tell them that it's unacceptable!

First picture=super adorable!

I don't care about all the politics about this. I know it sounds selfish but I just want my BF back.

I would also suggest that the next time a veterans appropriations bill is up for a vote that the senate pass it as is and not try to attach a $150.7 billion spending bill for the Departments of Education, Labor, and Health and Human Services - along with a $1 million requested by Sen. Hilary Clinton for a museum celebrating the Woodstock Music Festival, the $250,000 requested by Speaker Nancy Pelosi for something called an "Exploratorium" in her district in San Francisco, or the $1.7 million of taxpayer-funded earmark to the Centers for Disease Control to provide "liaisons" for Hollywood medical dramas. Democrats. All of them. Way to support the troops.

I don't think this is a partisan issue, at all. Many, many Republicans have voted for budgets that increased funding to the troops, as well. You can't look at one bill that decreased funding and say that makes this a partisan issue.

Exactly, piper. I'm glad you had the research that I didn't.

I'm with you, shop. For me, this is way more than politics.

Thanks Piper!

I only meant that my strong concern for our soldiers have nothing to do with the fact that I strongly opposed us going into Iraq in the first place. One does not replace the other. I do wonder how to keep our position in Iraq, Afghanistan, and possibly Pakistan when we have stretched the limit to the extreme already. We will have to rely even more on the contractors like Blackwater; and not only will that be obscenely expensive; it will also not serve our control in the region.

Many of our soldiers have gone out so many times now that it will not be responsible on any level to send them out again. It is a well known fact that soldiers can only handle combat in the field for a constricted amount of time, before they break down or become a living time bomb. Then it is not the enemy who is taking their lives, it is our military leaders. One thing that has always been special about the American Army is that we believe that no one is expendable, like the Japanese in WW2, or the Taliban members today. But if we keep it up in this pace it is reducing our soldiers lives to expendable pawn in the game we know as war. We need to think about how to solve this. On both sides of the isle.

It is truly sad they are just acknowledging this now. 3 years ago I was sitting in a Denver Airport bar talking to a 28 year-old man that had just retired from the army and I will never forget him telling me that the army said I was OK to go home but I do not think I really am. I felt so bad for him he told me the story of an 18 year-old that was killed in his unit and he totally had survivors guilt because that poor kid would never know what it was like to sit and have a conversation with someone in an Airport Bar he was clearly depressed and for the Army to tell him he was fine and send him on his way is just horrific. He also told me about the hate a majority of the Iraqi's have for americans it isn't at all what is being protrayed in the media as far as being welcomed with open arms.

Wow, I have so much love for the troops, and I really wish that our government would listen to the people when we say they NEED to be taken care of when they come home! Is there an issue that has more bi-partisan support when you look at the opinions of citizens (and not politicians)????????

A few years ago I was on a plane with a very young man in uniform who was flying to a base on his way to Iraq. When the plane landed, I got up and gave him a phone card with a 600 minutes on it, and told him that I hoped it helped him talk to his family a little bit. I then started bawling and had to walk away.

Looking back, I doubt if the calling card gift did any good because they probably have phones and what not. I just hope he knew that Americans kept him in their heart, even if they didn't know him. I think we ALL want our troops to be taken care of.

FYI-

Obama sponsored a Senate amendment to the State Children's Health Insurance Program (SCHIP) to provide one year of job protection for family members caring for soldiers with combat-related injuries.

Do the family members of veterans think this would be helpful?

wow jillness that was sweet, im sure the gesture was all that mattered

what is schip, ive heard of chip that is a health plan for middle class people that cant afford health insurance but make to much money to qualify for medicaid/medicare but never heard of schip

Jillness; your story made me tear up. It was a great gesture of you.

Looking back, I really wish I wouldn't have teared up so much. I am sure it made me look crazy! I just had so many things I wanted to tell him but couldn't articulate, and it kind of overwhelmed me.

SCHIP is a federal program that gives money to states to help provide health insurance to families with children, allowing states to provide their own guidelines within general federal guidelines. The problem is that it is underfunded and there are a lot of people that don't qualify.

Recently there was a big bill that passed that would have given it more money and altered the guidelines. Obama's amendment was in this bill. It passed by a bi-partisan vote in both houses before it was vetoed by Bush.

I'm a big mushie. I know how it is.

Yeah, we are dealing with this now.

Piper, you are correct.
PTSD can present very late, one of my family experienced it from Vietnam, but not until the late 80s/ early 90s. Normally he would not have been covered, fortunately he had extended treatment benefits due to agent orange exposure.

Trésjolie, I agree.
Taking care of those who serve has nothing to do with parties, just with what is right.
Imo, almost every politician, no matter the party, has failed to adequately secure service members, and their families, health and well being.

On the one hand, I want to say "yah, no sh*t". Of course it's hard to transition back to civilian life and of course it's harder still when you keep bouncing back to a war zone. I think it would be a lot better if they shortened the current deployment schedules. Twelve to 15 months is too long to be gone to try to come back and reset in less than a year. My husband always says that he'd be perfectly willing to be deployed 50% of the time if the rotations were more like 4 to 6 months.

On the other hand, I get really tired of the stereotype of the shiftless, irreparably emotionally scarred, broken down veteran. The reality is far from that - give them some credit! Vietnam veterans, for example, are on the whole more educated, more employed and with more stable families than their civilian counterparts. But, for whatever reason people insist on believing they are a broken down group of men.

Jillness, that was such a nice thing to do! And, as long as it was the right kind of calling card (one that can be used to call interantionally from the Mideast), he should be able to use it. I've sponsored several drives to collect items to send to the troops, and calling cards are always one of the things on the list! For everyone out there wanting to send anything out, there's a website called www.americasupportsyou.mil that can help you find a group in your area where you can donate items to be sent over to service members.