After dinner with friends, you’re walking home alone and you notice a couple bickering. You don’t think anything of it until their voices become raised, and you hear the woman shout, “Stop it!” You turn to look and catch sight of the man shoving the woman hard against the wall.
Her voice is screechy and they're both obviously intoxicated. She’s trying to worm her way out from underneath his power hold, but you can see that she's having some difficulty getting away. You’re afraid he might hit her, but you also don’t want to put yourself in harms way, so how do you handle this?
D&G
Maison Martin Margiela
Just Cavalli
I think I would have a hard time NOT confronting him. Even if I was scared that he might hurt me, I would just feel way to guilty if I just walked away and did nothing.
At the same time something like this happened to me and BF once. We were leaving a bar (both intoxicated) and we were screwing around with eachother, in a playful manner but because we were drunk it may have come off as more than that...there was a guy walking behind us who obviously thought he needed to "save" me and started mouthing off to my boyfriend...then the guys friend came up and started hitting my BF, so he started fighting back. Meanwhile my drunk ass is standing there wondering wtf just happened. So yeah..I would be sure that he was actually threatening her before I just jumped in to save the day.
1I would wait, watch, if its shouting and they are both drunk , i would wait around, if it turns into actual hand to face combat i would not confront, i would call the cops.
2I had a huge discussion about this with some friends because this happened to one of them where the girl got all up in the guy's face and he actually did hit her but my friend didn't do anything. They were all waiting at a bus stop.
So this was his argument: 1) it was none of his business; 2) by the time the cops got there, the couple would probably be gone; 3) him interfering would just stop them outside, wouldn't really solve the problem.
I guess it kind of comes down to morals. I'm sure the woman feels a bit safer that she is outside in public. Though really, if someone were to say something, the guy would probably just say "lets go home" and the woman would be too scared to do anything even if someone did reach out to her.
3I would keep a safe distance and call 911. That is as involved as you need to be. To not do anything and have something really horrible happen would disturb me more. I would have no problem "following" from a distance as I spoke to 911 giving the operator a play by play.
4i think i would yell for him to knock it off and say i'm calling the cos and hopefully that works
5I've been in a situation similar to this, and I just left. I don't want to risk getting hurt by getting involved in something that's not my business anyway. Even if it is in public. Call it selfish, but that's that.
What I would do different, though, is maybe call the police and tell them there's a "public disturbance."
6Unless he was actually physically assaulting her then I would probably call the cops and inconspicously wait around to direct the cops to the couple. When people are drunk they say/do stupid things and things can't be taken at face value.
I don't get involved unless I see an actual threat (then again I've been trained in that field and respond accordingly). I don't suggest walking up to total strangers and interfering because you never know what's involved and what weapons they might have. That being said if I saw someone mugging an old lady I'd probably jump in even though I might get hurt... I have a bleeding heart for the innocent.
7only if she yelled for help. chances r his public display of abuse isnt his first, and she chose to stay with him.
8Studies actually show that people end up not helping in situations like this. When people are attacked in public areas, the chances of being helped goes down as the number of people around goes up. It sounds so counterintuitive, but it's true. Bystanders assume that since no one else is calling for help or since it's going on out in the open, they shouldn't get involved. Also, people really feel strange getting involved with domestic disputes. They feel like they can't judge what's going on. So a good tip is if you're ever being attacked scream "I don't know you!" You're more likely to get help that way.
9I'd call the cops since I don't know these people so there isn't going to be any repercussions vs. a neighbor/tenant who lives in the same apartment building as me. I wouldn't approach the guy/girl at all because I'm alone and who knows that the guy will to do to me who is a complete stranger.
10Swen-I dont remember what movie it was (i think maybe it was Training Day) but the character (a cop) says something about how if you are in trouble you should always scream "fire" instead of "help" People respond to "fire" more easily than "help" I dont know if its actually true, being that its from a movie, but it definatly makes sense.
11First I'd call 911, or any nearby emergency station. Second, I'd take pictures from my cel, just so there'd be evidence of the abuse and not a he said she said situation. Third, I'd send the pictures to friends, just in case anything happened to me at that time, they'd have the evidence from the picture and it won't be lost.
12I'd probably call 911 on them.
If my hubby was around, he'd probably confront the guy (that's just the type of guy he is), but I'm a girl and I don't know if that guy has any hidden weapon on him. I just like to play it safe.
13My fiancee and I called the cops on such a couple and kept our distance. Go figure, the girl denied everything. So, really, I don't know what I could do to help a person who doesn't want help.
14I'd observe the situation a bit more and then call 911. I read in one of my sociology textbooks that a woman was stabbed to death in broad daylight in New York City and nobody bothered to help her or call 911 - because everybody thought somebody else would do it.
15I would move to a safe area as well, then I would just phone the police. Let's hope that the girl would follow through and press charges.
16call 911 them make a bunch of loud noises. thats what 20/20 said to do like um... 10 years ago.
17I hope I don't sound horrible, but I would mind my own business and not do anything. I wouldn't get involved. I would call and make an annonymous report of it though.
I'm sorry people are too crazy now days and I'm not getting shot or hurt because some drunken couple is fighting, and in most cases it would probably be a normal thing for them if they are acting like that in public. Not to mention the fact that most women that someone tries to help in a domestic violence siuation end up turning against the person trying to help in defense to her abusive BF/Husband.
18To begin, I would NEVER walk home alone.
If I did come across this couple, I would probably mind my own business as well. If it turned violent, I may call the cops, if I were far enough away and didn't think the guy could hear me. As much as I would want to help someone, I have to look after myself first. She put herself in that situation, not me.
19Its true that the more people who are aware of a situation like this the less likely the victim will get assistance, everyone assumes that someone else will call for help and they dont need to get involved. If you are in that situation you should make eye contact with individuals and tell THEM to call for help, you are more likely to actually get someone to help you that way.
I have actually gotten involved with a situation like this- I was working the door at a dance club, a girl ran up to me and begged me to call her a cab, then a guy (turned out he was her bf and they lived together) came up and pulled her outside. The guy was yelling at her, he threw a drink in her face and was pulling her hair. I ran over, yelling at him and getting her away from him which drew the attention of other people- like half of the football players from the university I went to- and they stepped in the make sure things got under control. I think I would have stepped in in some way or another, thats just the way I am, but this girl had the sense to ask an individual specifically to help her. Once someone stepped up and got involved, other people who might have just stood by and watched came to help as well.
20call the cops! and never walk alone!
21Hmm...I would check it out and then if it looked like abuse I would call the police.
22*sigh*... the sad thing is, like 9 times out of 10 the girl will defend her abusive boyfriend, or pretend that nothing happened, or go home with him... so I don't even know if it's worth it to bother. I know that sounds awful.
23I really don't know what I would do. My ex has gotten involved in several such situations and every time the same thing happened, and he was so frustrated...
I would call the cops without a doubt.
24I'm not really sure. I couldn't just pretend I didn't see it. I'd like to say I'd call 911, but sadly, that probably wouldn't help anything. Even if they did take him to jail she might be safe that night, but when he got out he'd probably beat the crap out of her.
25I would call the cops stat, done it before would do it again in a heartbeat
26Well, I'd call the cops, first. I always have pepper spray and a big 'ol buck knife in my purse, so I wouldn't be afraid to approach the situation to tell him to stop, with pepper spray in hand, and knife in VERY close proximity for an emergency situation. Then, I'd approach the young lady and ask that she step away from the man with me until the police arrive. If they're both drunk, they'll probably both go to jail, though, for Public Intoxication.
27when im sure it is abuse, i would goto help her i would try to kick his balls or something and after i made sure he cant walk i would run.
28My grandmother recently told me about a woman being raped in the middle of a full train station as people just walked around her. What a bunch of poon-tangs! I can't sit by and watch that occur without taking action. I don't like seeing people victimized. And, I'd hope that someone would jump in and react if I was in that situation. I mean, we don't really need anymore random rapists on the streets. Mind your own business? Is that what you hope everyone would do as they walked by witnessing you being raped or beat upon?
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