My mom doesn't like my BF b/c he's black. I told her to get the f*ck over it. I him and that's all that matters to me!

My parents HATED the fact that I was moving in with my now-fiance. After we announced the news (my fiance was there with me to tell both my parents), my mom literally drove me out the house. She MADE me want to leave, dropping little comments here and there "PEOPLE ONLY MOVE OUT WHEN THEY ARE MISERABLE IN THE HOME THEY'RE IN....WHAT HAVE WE DONE TO YOU TO MAKE YOU WANT TO LEAVE???"

a bit spanish soap opera-ish

BUT....guess what? yeah, I was sad. I didn't want to leave on bad terms. Literally two months later things were back to normal. And now they LOVE coming to see me.

I'm the baby of the family and I believe it was hard for them to see the last of the bunch leaving the *nest* u know? they now see that I'm okay and that makes them happy.

point is (sorry it was long) LIFE GOES ON. I can't imagine a parent holding a grudge on their child forever over something so silly.

My parents are very controlling. From telling me who I could date to asking me how much money i have in my bank when I live on my own! It's very hard sometimes, because I do love them and want their approval...but at the same time I am a grown women who lives on her own, pays her own bills, and doens't ask for their help. So it's a toughie...
My boyfriends keeps telling me I should be the one making decsions in MY life. Not them. I and try to do this, but it's still hard

My dad disapproved of my fiancee and I living together but really I think he just needed convincing that my significant other is a good man. For the most part, my dad's opinions don't matter as much as my mom's. The older I get the more my mom becomes a close friend to me. She is there to listen, to advice, but never to dictate.

ashcwebb...I feel you. I grew up in a STRICT household...I WAS THE ONLY ONE who was *the bad child* of all 5 of my siblings.

You just have to say NO to them sometimes. At first they're in complete shock that you would have the balls to defy them, but seriosuly...it's your life.

when I started to *stray* my dad would say "it's not MY life who'll be affected, it's YOUR life" and I said EXACTLY!

MY LIFE!

and the truth to the matter is, for as long as you'll try to please ANYONE, whethet it's your parents or friends, it's never enough.

I take into heavy consideration what my parents say because they're my best friends and know me the best. But there comes a time when you JUST LISTEN instead of DOING. You do what you want. And if you make mistakes, then GOOD! You're SUPPOSE TO.

*whether

my bad

To this point in my life, my mom has basically made NO comment on any of my BFs. I asked her once, and she said "Well, I had the chance to make my choice, and now you have the chance to make yours."

So if she came out and said she didn't like someone I was with, I would be seriously sad because it would mean that she really, really thought I was making a huge mistake.

Their opinion matters but only to a point. So, I voted #3.

LMAO @ Shopaholichunny and right on!!!

Thanks Bellaressa!

Sorry but their opinions do not matter to me. But then again i don't have a good relationship with them.

This story is actually kinda refreshing especially after rumors of 18yr olds moving in with 30 yr olds its nice to see that some parents still try to lay down the law, so to speak. Of course SJ is grown and needs to make her own decisions.

I've always appreciated my parents opinions. They always had my best interest and would never lead me down the wrong path. They were my best friends and I valued their opinion tremendously! I fortunately got that at a young age. They raised me by example and I took their advice over any friend any day of the week. It kept me out of tons of trouble and unnecessary mistakes. Of course I was also blessed with intelligent parents, who had open minds, and weren't overly strict or prejudiced in any way. THANK GOD!

I appreciate my mom's opinion...to a point. I guess I've always sort of lived in a way where I made my own decisions and I've been lucky enough that my mom mostly supports them.

But anyway, I'm kind of living the opposite scenario of this story. I'm going to be moving out to live with my boyfriend in...a month? It just made a lot of sense personally and financially. And she's totally okay with it. Her philosophy is that as long as he actually loves me and treats me well then she doesn't see the issue. His mom...well she's a whole other story. But we're going forward with it anyway. I'm just hoping he can get her to somewhat understand/accept the situation before I'm there for good! We're planning on getting engaged once I move out there and I don't want to be starting my relationship with future mother in-law on the wrong foot.

I hate that I care what my parents think. Usually, they are very supportive, but extremely passive aggressive (guess where I learned that from?) But in once situation, I had to have a talk with my mom and tell her, "I know you're not happy about my decision, but I am". It took a couple weeks but then they and my whole family was ok again.

For me it was really hard when my parent's didn't really like my last boyfriend. It made dinners uncomfortable because I always felt like he was trying to hard and never had a chance to just relax and be himself. I think it put a lot if unnecessary strain on both my relationship with my parents and with my bf. Being an only child makes it hard too because I grew up so close to my parents and really do care and value what they think.

My mo has always been the person I looked up to the most so her opinion holds a lot of weight in my book. I have however learend that while my mom always has my best interest at heart she isn't always right and what she thinks will make me happy and what I think will make me happy aren't always the same. I had to move in with my fiance because we were tired of the long distance thing. This is something I was always taught was a no no. You just don't live with somenoe before you get married. The thing is our situation is different and we had to do what was right for us. So now I am happy and my mom has been really supportive. She only said one thing about the situation and basically it was tolet us know she didn't agree but she loves both of us anyway. Now we'll be married in a little over a month so it's a non issue and my mom loves my fiance as mucha s if he were one of her own kids. I'm really lucky

I do value my parents' opinion but don't let them dictate my life. I always talk things through with one or both of them depending on the situation. My mom is a very rational person.

Their opinions matters to me but I don't allow them to dictate my life. I don't have a need for my mother to approve of my boyfriend or anything I do. I'm an adult and if I make a mistake it falls only on me and as silly as it sounds I'll be more proud if I can honestly say it was my fault the mistake happened as opposed to my parents fault or listening to them.

Considering my parents and their parents stayed married, you would think I would have valued their opinion on relationships more, but when I was a teen I totally didnt. I went through a bad boy phase that lasted for about 10 years, from first bf to the last guy I dated before my husband. They pretty much kept their opinions to themselves and hoped I would grow out of it.

Now my parents LOVE my husband, and my in-laws love me too, its actually a much more pleasant world this way. I can only think of ONE other couple we are friends with who love their in-laws- we are really lucky.

I voted #3... I've made some really bad choices in my life, even though my mom was sitting there saying "Don't do it! Don't do it!" And every time she says that I do it anyways and regret it later on down the road.

I need to start listening to her more often, lol

I value my parents' opinion a lot and will take things into serious consideration if they say something's a bad idea...

However, sometimes you have to do what feels right for you. My family protested severely when I moved in with my boyfriend. But hey, four years later, we are happily married.

I let my parents say what they have to say, but I usually end up doing whatever the hell I want to do. I've listened to them my whole life and nothing was every good enough for them. If I came home with an A, they'd ask how come I didn't get an A+. They were also never interested in any of my boyfriends. My brother on the other hand comes home with bad grades and they don't care, and they seemed to care more about his gf (who dumped him a few weeks ago) more than they did about me! So I decided to take matters into my own hands and do whatever the f*ck I want to do, even if that includes moving back to LA from Singapore to be happy. All of a sudden they are concerned about me, and they want my boyfriend to make more of an effort to get to know them (even though I got the 'he's not good enough for you' talk from them). Whatever!! They don't support me financially anymore, so they have no say in my life.

The only BF that my mom really disaproved of was my high school BF, and she was totally right about him so...yeah. I know she didnt like alot of my BFs but she was pretty good about staying out of my business and letting me learn things my own way. Im pretty sure she likes my current BF though, and his son.

i dont give 2 sh*ts what my father thinks...

i respect and love my mama so much, so her approval is very important to me. having said that, my mama isnt the type to control my actions or hold a grudge against me if i dont take her advice. but i always make her agree or come to terms with things we dont agree on.

thankfully, she loved my husband from their first phone conversation =)

My parents have never really been involved in my life-- they don't give advice or offer opinions unless I ask for them. They were both pretty wild when they were young, so they said I just need to figure it out for myself, the way they did.

My husband's family is very religious, strict and passive aggressive, but he flat out tells them that it's his decision, not theirs, and they get over it eventually.

My mother is very against the idea of people mixing finances before being married. I used to be against it because of that opinion, but now I thin it may be necessary to learning the habits of your significant other.

My parents' opinions matter. But mine matter more.

My family is extremely tight, so my parents' opinion means a lot to me. However, I think I'm able to say that so easily because I really don't think I'd ever date someone or do something that my parents truly disapproved of. As long as I'm happy and the guy treats me well, my parents are fine with anyone I date and they know whatever else happens is really none of their business because I'm an independent adult and it's my life. Now, don't get me wrong, if I did something they disagreed with, they'd give me an earful about why I'm wrong or how it's a bad idea, but again, they trust me to make good decisions for myself, and I think I do...um most of the time! Ha!

I'll also second what hotstuff said--I was also blessed with incredibly intelligent and open-minded parents, so saying that their opinion matters to me and getting their approval really isn't that hard to do!

"It doesn't mean much — I don't let them dictate my life."

I'm a grown woman now. I'm responsible for my life (and my happiness). I live with all the decisions I make, so with all due respect to others (including my parents), MY judgement and approval matters the most.

I think that if my parents (both of them) vehemently disliked something, I would definitely think it over one extra time, and spending more time with the boyfriend talking things over before committing to something. My parents have different opinions on a lot of things, and are both highly intelligent and articulate people, so if they both felt strongly about something… I would definitely think twice. However, they wouldn't actually have a say in the final action, which is why I would give it a talk with the boyfriend - to see where we were actually at before committing to something.

Input from parents is fine - them making the decision for me isn't.

It's really important to me what my parents think. But if I really loved someone they didn't like I think I would follow my heart

i don't mind knowing their opinions.

but even as a child, i've always done what i wanted to do anyways.

i never gave my parents problems. i was always responsible. so i NEVER had a curfew. even now, i handle my business;pay bills, go to work early, etc.

my dad never really gives his opinion.
my mother is always worried about things that don't exist. but she doesn't nag me (or maybe she doesn and i drown the sound of her voice out, i'm not sure).

like i said, i'm gonna end up doing what i want in the end.

It's always meant A LOT to me.

My parents have always been as close to the "perfect" parents as you can get. I hate disappointing them. But thankfully, they are insanely supportive, so I've never had a real issue.

If my parents had it their way, I'd be a pharmacist or engineer, I would be living in the Northeast (New England or New York), and I would be dating a Chinese guy. Instead, I studied marketing, logistics, and sociology in college; I live in Texas; and I've only dated white men. So no, I don't listen to my parents! Compared to my overachiever, older brother, I've always been the black sheep.

It matters a bit but overall it's about what I want out of life...

I only care if they care. If they are indifferent like you stated above, I could care less what they think.

If they have legitimate concerns, I'll hear them out, but they don't make my decisions for me.

At first, my parents didn't really sure about my choice of bf (now husband). They thought the other guy I dated was better. But anyway, thank goodness I was born with a head made of stone.

Now, everything is different. They could see it how happy I am, and how my husband loves not only me, but also them. From what I've heard, my parents are proud of him.

This is hard for me because I'm going to move in with my boyfriend soon. I have told my mom that we've been thinking about it, and she just wants me to make the right decision for me. But my dad on the other hand, would flip his lid. However, I'm 24 years old. I'm a college graduate. I've got a full time job, insurance, benefits, savings, my own apt, etc. My parents have nothing else to hold over my head, so I don't really care what my dad thinks. He can't take anything away from me.

My parents have no right to judge me anyway, considering they lived together and got pregnant before they were married... so I don't want their unrealistic conservative standards forced on me when it is hypocritical of them to do so...

I personally don't want to live with a guy until we're married for many reasons, but it has nothing to do with my parents' approval. I mean, I will listen...They might have some good points, but my parents are close-minded and my mom is racist...Which means they'll oppose of almost anything that doesn't involve a man of my own race. My mom is also overly religious, so of course living together before marriage is a big, big sin.

I'm old enough to make my own decisions, so I don't get as swayed by my parents'/mom's biases.