This girl friend of mine is driving me bonkers with how cheap she is. She constantly tries to underpay when we go out to eat and is just in general totally cheap.
Example: A group of us orders a pizza. She says she'd like to only pay $2 because she's going to eat only one slice. That's fine, but then when there were slices left over she asked us all if she could take them home with her. We didn't know a polite way to say no so we let her.
Every time we want to get dinner she asks if we can eat somewhere cheap or, worse, if someone can just host the dinner so she doesn't have pay at all.
Now, if she were poor, I would understand. But she is rich! I know what she makes because I used to work for the same company and it's a lot of money.
Every time she talks about money or needing to save money I just want to scream! It's getting to the point where social situations together aren't fun because I'm just waiting to see what cheap stunt she pulls next.
She's part of a larger group of friends who are near and dear so I can't cut her loose. Any ideas on how to handle?
Yoox
Proenza Schouler
Stila
First of all, how do you know she doesn't need to save money? Just because she may earn a lot of money at her job, doesn't mean she has a lot of money. She could have a lot of student loans or maybe she racked up a ton of credit card debt that she needs to pay off. She may have some real money issues, so please don't assume she doesn't.
It is hard to give advice because I don't know what else she does to annoy you. In terms of dining out, go to places where you won't share food and ask the server to give each of your your own bill. That way you don't have to wonder what she will contribute.
1Good advise to ask the wait staff to bring separate bills, it will probably make all involved feel better. It's also true that you don't really know her monetary situation. Have you thought that maybe she has insecurities involving money for family reasons? Maybe her parents always struggled to pay the bills and now she feels guilty spending. It could also be that she's pinching pennies to save up for a big priority item such as a house or car. Either way you shouldn't feel you have to fit the bill for her, so simply stop getting joint bills when you go out. Alternating between less expensive restaurants and your usual hangouts isn't a bad idea either, that way she can make an excuse not to joint you if she thinks the place you've chosen to eat at is too expensive for her.
2I have a best friend that is really cheap too! It is so annoying. She bought her husband this mixed case of pop, but didn't want the red pop that was in it. I told her I would buy the red pop off her. She got out her calculator and did the math and even added the deposit on.........LOL. It is funny. I just accept it as her and deal with it. But I totally feel you.
3~~~ Niki ~~~
KendalHeart
4Okay, I'll give you cheapskate behaviour is annoying. And goodness knows it's hilarious sometimes. But, other than just being annoying? is this devestating you finacially? It may not be fair to you, but if she's a good friend in all the ways that count, give her a break. Who knows what kind of money issues she's got? You don't need to be a part of her personel financial life to be her friend.
Enjoy the time you spend with her. Enjoy her friendship. And get seperate checks when you go out.
Also, I can kill you with my brain.
5The best thing would be just to let the problem go. Try to take enjoyment out of it instead. If you make it an inner joke you enjoy her being cheap.
6This is one of my pet peeves too! I cannot stand it when anyone does that. To me it borders on rude. If she cannot afford to eat out than she shouldn't go. Most places when it is a large group will not seperate the check so if it is the 2 of you than as soon as the wait person asks to take your order I would say that it needs to be on seperate checks. If she really is a close friend than you need to step up and speak to her about it privately. She may not even realize she is alienating herself.
I will never forget a birthday party at a Tapas Restaurant in NYC I went to and a couple that was there drank Bombay and tonics all night then when the check came only offered to put in $40. There were 16 of us there so you can imagine the final bill was not small. Let me put to you this way it did not end well and it caused a scene.
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