Is your husband trying to tell you something? Just asking?

Forgive. Stay out of it.

Besides, there's a chance some of them may already know, and choose to look the other way.

I probably wouldn't say anything either. It would be horrible and devestating. If anything I would just try and "help" them open their eyes up a bit...

I would tell them. Imagine how upset you would be if you not only found out your husband was cheating on you but that your friend knew and said nothing. Generally I'm a let them work it out themselves type of person but this is serious

My first thought was on the same lines as bellaressa: If all of his friends in that group have mistresses, does he have one too?

Forgiven. I have a habit of minding my own business, so that's what I suggest.

Besides that, I agree with what GlowingMoon said.

Yeah, this is sort of off topic, but of the same nature. I tried telling my best friend how her boyfriend was a major pothead and sold weed. I knew this through several mutual friends, people who also witnessed him making deals.

So, she accussed him of lying and broke up with him? NO, she quit talking to me for 6 months and took his side completely.

Stay out of it. Chances are they won't want to believe what you're saying anyway. The only way I'd definitely tell is if it were a best friend and I knew that she would believe me (or if I had hard concrete proof)

Forgive. Their marriages are already messed up, don't go getting yours that way but breaking the confidence that your husband told you. And it may surprise you to know, that many women know that their husbands cheat but choose to look the other way. They only get upset when another person finds out.

yup, definitely keep this dirty mess to yourself...sorry you have to bear with it.

but you better PRAY on both knees your lady-friends dont EVER find out you knew about this mess.

and get your man out of that circle!! NOW!! wtf man?? that's a HORRIBLE crowd to be surrounded by.

get new friends.

Its unforgivable of the men to do that but its forgivable of you to keep quiet. Ugh, that's a nasty situation, and I'm sorry to whoever this is happening to. Keep a closer eye on what may be going on in your own life, though?

1- dont break ur husbands confidence in u
2- u need to make him see that his friends are BAD INFLUENCE!!!!! time for new ones!
3- keep YOUR eyes peeeeled, and most people dont encourage this, but given the circumstances, START SNOOPING!

so basically watch out for urself!!!!!!

def. forgive! It's not really your place to tell them! And also, I keep things my guy tells me between me and him ONLY! I never tell my friends his secrets.

Yeah, this is rough. As horrible as it seems, I would stay out of it. I don't know how many marriages you're talking about but if you open your mouth, you may end up losing a whole lot of friends, breaking up your husbands friendships AND putting your own marriage at risk all in one shot.

Also, I agree with iRose, a lot of women are aware of what's going on and don't really want to acknowledge the fact as it's easier to just ignore it. Good luck with your decision.

im not going to comment on wether you should stay out of it or not, because I honestly have no idea what I would do in this situation. But seriously...cant your husband find better friends? Not only that, but who are friends are is a HUGE reflection on the kind of person you are....

that was supposed to say "who your friends are is a huge reflection of the kind of person you are"

I would forgive because that is a really difficult position to be in. You want to help your friends but you really do not want to be that person who tried to break up a marriage. Just stay out of it

Wow that would suck. Why is he friends with such losers.

I would NOT stay mum.

That's a tough one. I think you'd be forgiven whether you stayed mum... or not. Depends on how near and dear these girlfriends are... were they your friends before you married?

But typically in this sort of dilemma I think staying mum is generally the best idea. As others have said, they may already know. Or not want to know. And in all likelihood, they will shoot the messenger.

Meanwhile, if this were me, I'd be far more concerned about my own husband and I'd be drilling him with questions. Is he horrified at his friends' behavior??? Or is he actually helping them in their deceit??? If the latter, I would have *very* serious issues with that.

Wow, that's a tough spot to be in. Are these wives very close friends (like best friends) of yours... or just kind of "we hang out sometimes" friends? That would make the difference if I had to make the decision to tell.

Also, if your husband is ok with his friends doing that to their wives does that mean he is ok doing it to you? I'd clear that up ... make absolute sure that he isn't cheating on you too.

I'm the kind of person who gets a nervous itch until I tell them. I can't hide loaded truths that will change people's lives, if told.

Make sure your husband...well...

I hate when my husband tells me things that I don't want to know. He found out that one of my best friend's was cheating on her husband long before I knew. He didn't tell me because he doesn't like to put me in that position with people I'm very close to. But, sometimes things bother him and he needs to talk to somebody about it and that somebody is usually me. When he does that, I keep it to myself. I wouldn't know it unless he told me and he's asked me to keep the confidence for him. It still sucks, though.

I wouldn't assume he's happy about his friends' arrangements - he might have told his wife because it bothers him. And if he has a similar arrangement himself, how stupid would he have to be to come out unbidden and announce what his friends are doing?

As difficult as it is you need to keep your mouth shut. It is completely forgiveable. You don't know what kind of marriage these couples have and they could be completely fine you just don't know. This could be an aspect of their marriage that they do not want out in public. I have close friends that have an open marriage and it works for them, they have been married for 20 years.

Forgive. But i'm wondering why your husband told you this?

I would agree that your husband should not have told you. Now it puts you in that crazy predicament of saying something or not. True, some wives may "know" and you would just be stirring up trouble. And unless you had proof they might not believe you and it could completely backfire and cause you to look bad. I also agree that you shouldn't break your husband's confidence in you but I'd have a serious talk with him about the kind of secrets he asks me to keep.

I think you are screwed either way.. sorry. I know that my Mom knew that my uncle was cheating on his wife and years later my aunt found out that we all knew. She was really angry that no one said anything and didn't speak to us for several years. On the flipside, though, what if she hadn't believed anyone and then blamed us for problems in her marriage? Lose - lose situation.

don't be the messenger because they always get shot. I once told my very good friend at work that a female co-worker had been sleeping with her boyfriend. everyone else already knew but they blamed me and wouldn't speak to me for some time. looking back, i should have approached the co-worker first and told her that if she didn't inform my friend then i would. but this situation is even more messy since her husband is involved and could lose his friends. not much of a loss, they sound like jerks, but i would stay quiet and put the decision back in his lap

tell, with tact and delicacy if you can. and if i were you i'd drill your hubby about his own fidelity.

What is your husband trying to tell you here?
It's acceptable within his group of friends to be unfaithful?

i would want someone to tell me, so i would tell. that's so shady and sad... time for new friends.

I'd rather have my friends be mad at me, but know the truth (or at least hear the truth and have the opportunity to decide on it), than not tell them something this important just to keep the peace. If they are truly my friends, eventually they'll understand that I only told them out of friendship and wanting the best for them. And if they shoot the messenger, well, that's their loss.

how about your husband?

i chose undecided. like someone said above, most of them would probably accuse you of lying as it does sound a little off, ALL of their husbands have mistresses except yours? im not denying that its true, he probably wouldnt have brought it up if he did. but ive told people similar things and they hardly ever believe it until they find out themselves. I would probably just try to make it obvious and tell only the people who i knew would beleive it or atleast consider.

its a real tough call and lots of people above have made valid points. first off i definitely think it matters what kind of friend they are. i mean if they are your best friends then its a lot different than your casual friends. that's just a truth. also- before i said anything i'd keep my eyes and ears open more to what those wives say and such- for any hints that they might either know about this or suspect it or something. you definitely just don't want to blurt it out right away. as for your husband- i'm going to hope he told you this cause he was bothered or disgusted or amazed by the fact. i'd hope he wasn't dropping any hints. you might want to make sure you address it with him.

I would tell. I believe that every woman/person has the right to have all the information so she can make informed decisions about her own life. If you don't feel comfortable telling her personally, send some sort of anonymous message thru email or the mail. I would want to know, and I would be devestated to learn my close friend had not told me.

I forgive you totally! It's a double-edge sword. On one hand, you can tell your friends what's going on, but they'll be upset because they'll want to know how long you've been keeping the secret. Then again, you could just leave slight hints. That way, your friends could put the pieces together on their own w/out you directly telling them.

If YOU were my friend, i would tell you. i'm sorry. but i could not do that to my friend. if them h*s were just friends by default (all of our hubbies are just friends), then i would stay out of it.

i just couldn't imagine doing that to my best friends.

your husband shouldn't have told you something like that if it was about your close friends.

and what the hell is he doing? you gonna sit here and tell me all of your friends have orchestrated their weekly romps with their wh*re-cats, but he is the only angel out of the group. mutha-f*cka, please . . .

the way i would tell my friend would be a different story, but i wouldn't keep quiet.

i can't say what another person does or should do. i just know how my relationships with MY friends are.

we don't hope a b*tch would tell them their tampon string is showing, but get mad and say it's not your place when it comes to cheating-b*stard husbands/boyfriends (or potentially gay fiances).

but i forgive you, because i'm not sure how the dynamics of your friendship with these ladies are.

BTW, maybe you should start checking bank statements . . .that's a good start for your investigation. you can't possibly think YOUR hubby ain't doing the same after he snitches on his boys.

why did he tell you? was it bothering him? does he think you might already know? i told a friend that i saw her dh with another woman (someone she had already told me she suspected) and the result was that she confronted him and then we didn't speak for awhile (several months). they are still together (this happened about 3 years ago) so that is a akward situation there for me and him.

so anyway, i'm not sure telling them would improve YOUR situation. but eventually one of the husbands will slip up and then all the bricks will come tumbling down. then it will probably come out that you knew. so your husband really put you in a bad situation.

I'm pretty sure your husband would have to be pretty stupid to tell you this if he was doing the same, so don't even worry about that. I'm sure it was just bothering him and he needed to tell somebody, he is just sharing the burden.

Keep if between you two, no need to open that can of worms. You are deffo forgiven.

i don't think i'd say anything, even though it would be hard for me not to! although these are your good friends, this isn't like a boyfriend/girlfriend situation.. this is marriage. it's a whole different level. and just like everyone else has mostly said, i think i'd be questioning my husband more than anything else. that would be the concern that would be on my mind the most. if you really want to, you could try to open their eyes to it without really saying anything by talking about cheating in general.. see what they say.. you never know. good luck, it is definitely a hard and sucky situation to have to be in!

see, that's why he told her. Poster of a Girl said:

"I'm pretty sure your husband would have to be pretty stupid to tell you this if he was doing the same, so don't even worry about that."

that keeps his tracks covered, because "why would he say that if he's cheating too?"

i'm not saying he is, but don't be no donkey.

and then to say you wouldn't tell your friend because it makes things hard for yourself?!?

i think i can sleep better with a friend who is p*ssed at me for telling her the truth (or my concerns) than i would if i held something like this in. but that's just me.

i guess some are more concerned about themselves.

how would you feel if you found out your hubby is cheating, and spending YOUR money (you know, your shopping money, or money to get that granite countertop put in) on some slip-sliddin' wh*re who gets County checks, and your friend knew about it the whole time and didn't say a WORD???

be honest. think about it. you would be done with that h*, and you know it.

Lordy! Just hope he isn't one of them.

this is an important matter. you pretty much hold the key to several marriages' happiness- or apparent lack thereof. if your husband didn't want to deal with your response, he shouldn't have told you. (ps- why is he friends with such aholes? is he like them too?) I think you should tell them- or at least try to catch each of their husbands in the act.

Y'know, if you know their system of how they meet up with their mistresses (and perhaps where), maybe you could set something up so that their wives would catch them themselves.

I had a relationship with a married man for 5 months. His wife thought that he might be cheating on her, but she had no proof and therefore was not about to sacrifice their marriage, business and child because of a hunch that she had. Also, he was very careful.. most cheaters are. His wife will never truly know that he ever cheated on her with me or with anyone else. I wish I had the courage to tell her because I think that she deserves better, but I just can't bring myself to do it.

Unfortunately for you, it is a very bad sign that your husband's friends are unfaithful to their wives. The married man I was with had friends that knew about me and they were all cheaters too. Be careful..

I do think that you should tell your friends. Today honesty is rare, but certainly appreciated.

Gah. this is such a sticky situation. My feelings are, if these women were your BEST FRIENDS, then you should probably be damned to hell for not telling them. Think of all the heartbreak and STDs they are going to be exposed to.

However, if the situation is more of-you only know these "friends" because their husbands work with your husband and you see them around every once in a while, of course it's not ok for you to get into their business and deff should be forgiven!

Omg! This is a crazy situation! I feel so sorry for you and all the women that are probably being cheated on!! I would say tell the women though, even if they aren't your good friends, don't you think they deserve to know about something like that!? I mean, I would want my friends to tell me if they new something like that. I guess is does just depend on how well you know them though. I would say forgive you though, b/c that is just a hard situation to be in.
I would also, like a lot of people said, be worrying about my own husband at this point...why did he tell you? Is he including himself in his group of friends? I'm not saying he has to be cheating too, but whether he was or not, that situation would def. make me worry to death about it.
I also agree with some people that said, if you know all the details, like how their system works, try and put the wives in a situation to find out for themselves, that would be the best scenario I think. Good luck!

i totally understand how you would not want to get in the middle of this. on the other hand, if my husband was cheating on me and my friend knew and didn't tell me, i would be so mad at her.

once my now ex boyfriend was cheating on me, and my friend found out and told me. i had already suspected it a few times, so i really wasn't too surprised. i actually let it slide for another month before realizing i derserved better. but i was extremely grateful to my friend for getting me out of that relationship and then helping me through my devestation.

good luck in whatever you choose to do.

If your husband told you about this situation because he feels bad about it and needed to talk, than I'm sure he will understand *YOUR* need to get that sh*t out of your life, as well, one way or another. If he couldn't live with sitting on that knowledge, how can he expect you to? (On the flip side, if he is trying to tell you something else, perhaps his opinion of what you do next should not be taken into consideration in the first place. Ahem.) Tell those boys that either they tell their wives, or you will be forced to. Most people would much rather confess, which may lead to forgiveness than be "caught", which makes them look so much worse, doesn't it? You could sidestep this entire situation by forcing their hands.

Not forgive. I honestly think you were trying to do the right thing and you were being a wonderful, caring person. HOWEVER, if my husband or even boyfriend was cheating on me, I don't care who it is, I want to know! Their cheating is ruining the life of someone that loves them dearly, and their wives deserve to find someone better and move on.