randomly, i had a dream last week that i had a threesome with my bf... it was a great dream but i would probably never do it in real life, i know it would just eat at me afterwards. and I would never be able to feel the same about him after that... as if he is just not satisfied. so as soon as he would bring it up, it would be all downhill for me lol

uh...hell to the NO!

Well, I'm straight...I like it just me and him. If my man wanted a threesome with an extra girl, I'd tell him that he would have to consider having a threesome with a guy FIRST (even though the idea repulses me as much as him, I KNOW he'd never agree to it)....only after that would I ever agree to a threesome with a chica. hehe.

Women are beautiful and all, but 3's a crowd.

Well...honestly...I want to try one SO badly with my man! I told him I want to too, and he said as long as I am comfortable with it then he's a-ok with it (of course!) hahaha.

I said I need to find the right girl though...someone I know and who I am comfortable with and vice versa. I told him this might be a very neat birthday present for him in July

I have never participated in a threesome, but I do have set ground rules for them. Mainly, my bf cannot actually have sex with the other girl. A little oral is fine but definitely not intercourse. I'm not going to watch my bf have sex with someone else.

If he seems to lose interest after I say that, then I know what his real motive is.

I would do a variation on threesome... maybe allow him to watch me and another girl but I'd never actually let him get "involved" perse.

Oh hell no. I would ask him why he's thinking about it and if he's not satisfied with our current sex life. What is so exciting about watching the man you love and respect having sex with another chick? Forget it!

per se

Well, there's a reason there are so many swingers around. Some people are into it and some aren't. If you both agree, then good for you guys. But if you don't agree on it then it shouldn't happen (not even if one person wants to make the other happy). Plus, can you imagine the jealousy issues afterwards?? Seems like there would be too many complications afterwards.

I wouldn't automatically assume that the guy wants to be with another girl instead of you. Let's give them some credit here.

I would respond by asking for the same afterwards, but with another GUY and him. Chances are that will be the end of discussion whuahahhaa

IMO bringing a third person into a relationship especially on an intimate level is never, ever a good idea.......period.

I don't understand why a happy couple would want to throw another person into the mix. Anyone couple I've met that says they want to have a threesome want to have it with someone they don't really know or care about. Maybe this is where people differ like ann418 sez. If my boyfriend told me he wanted to do this, I think I'd be hurt but only for looking at it in the wrong light. After all, it's supposed to be fun. You'd have to be incredibly close to your lover in order to pull this off with no nasty feelings afterwards

As Samantha said in Sex and the City - it's better to be the outside girl coming in, rather than the one in the relationship.

however, i wouldn't do it, regardless. i'd just be creeped out. what if they tried to kill me!?

I would just say no. If he doesn't like it, too bad don't let the door hit you on the way out.

I'm not into this at all. And I think I make it pretty clear when I'm with someone. I like to find guys that have the same opinion on this issue.

Of course, I don't care if people I know are into it. More power to them and I hope it works out!

THIS DOES NOT WORK. Unless you're already into this and my guess is most aren't, it just opens the door to more requests. You think if you give it to him once that will satisfy his desire but guess what? He's gonna want it again and again because what guy wouldn't and then you are going to have to say no which I promise you he will agree to but he will always be thinking of it and then maybe end up searching for it on his own. If you have any reservations, just say no and if he persists then I would seriously reconsider the relationship. You should never go outside of your comfort zone in this particular area because you most likely are a "good girl" who just wants to try "bad" things but for men sex is sex and the more women involved the better for him. He will have no reason to go back after you're done experimenting.

I woul do it only if I KNEW he would only be a boyfriend nothing serious between us...

I agree with sugarsister completely.

But anyways, if I was asked, I'll just ask him if he'd mind if it was two guys instead, once he says no...that's the end of the discussion.

How do you know it doesn't work, sugarsister? Let's be a little more optimistic, here. Just because he gets it once doesn't mean he'll want it again and again. Like I said earlier, let's give the guys a little more credit. And let's not generalize and put all men into the same category. Most importantly, let's not guy-bash.

I would simply say He!! to the no! I don't share.

not guy bashing, ann418. i love men but they can divorce sex from love far more easily than a woman can and they seem built for this kind of thing. not all but many. the essence of my message is do not explore this emotional quagmire if you are just doing it for your boyfriend and have little to no interest in it for yourself. Nine times out of ten the result will not be positive.

I feel like a threesome with two girls is the not-so-secret fantasy of every guy. I know my fiance has said that would be his ultimate fantasy, but he also knows I am not remotely interested, and he's not upset that he won't have the opportunity to do so -- just one of those things that you would like to try, but you know won't happen (like my ultimate fantasy of marrying Matt Damon). If he DIDN'T respect and understand my decision to not participate (or allow him to participate!) in such an event, then I would show him the door. It's that simple.
I, personally, cannot fathom why I would remotely enjoy the site of another girl turning him on, or vice versa. Not my cup of tea at all.

Definitely not. I would have a problem with watching him have sex with another person, and I'd feel disgusting having sex with someone who wasn't my current boyfriend. It feels like cheating to me, I don't know.

And if he were to have a problem with it, we wouldn't need to continue dating. Bye bye.

It always sounds great in theory, but in real life and feelings being involved, i think its much different. But alas, I wouldn't know...

And I agree with you, sugarsister, 100%, on your second comment. Thank you for clarifying!! I'm sorry, I do get a little defensive of guys. I agree that nine times out of ten it will probably turn out negatively. But for the one that has a positive outcome, good for them. And who knows? I have a good friend (and I'm not talking about me being the "good friend", lol) who is very open to this kind of thing. I know for a fact she's had threesomes with couples and it's turned out fine for her. I just think it all depends on the specific, individual chemistry and relationships between the three people.

**Turned out fine for the couples, too, not just for her.

My DH & I agreed that we wouldn't do the "threesome thing", but rather, we would just invite another couple. That way, the wife doesn't feel left out or awkward- she's got someone to pay attention to her too.

Haven't done it yet, so I cannot speak from experience, but that's our agreement. We both think it's fair.

This is one of things that I am only okay with on a totally abstract basis. If it actually came down to a go or no-go type situation, I don't think I'd be cool with it at all.

That said, I think this can work for certain couples where it's fulfilling for both parties. I just don't think I could be part of a couple like that.

I'm impressed with all of you have who are open-minded where others are concerned but are definite about your own boundaries concerning this issue. I look back on so many things and wish I felt as clearly about my feelings then as I do now. But then it wouldn't be life without mistakes now would it.

my husband knows better than to even contemplate on asking me for such a thing...to each his own though

Isn't this just every guy's fantasy?

This is really one of those decisions that's very personal. If you're interested and want to give it a try, go for it.

Personally, I'd never go for this. Ever. And definitely not with a guy I might want a future with. There's just one person too many in that equation. And if you do it once, he's going to want to do it again. Keep that in mind.

But if you have no interest in doing this, say so. Don't be afraid to tell him no. If he gives you a hard time about that then he's not a guy you want to be with anyway.

It's not for me either. Personally, I prefer sex to be a more intimate experience, not a group experience. Just my preference.

I heard it's a lot of work, especially for the lone-sex person in a straight group. That person has to satisfy two people, and it takes a lot of attention and effort.

Incidently, I've been invited to a threesome. It was flattering, but I was not interested, so I declined.

I have a good guy friend who has had two threesomes...One with an extra guy and the other involved two women. He said that in his head the fantasy went better than it did in real life and he wishes that he kept it that way cause his "fantasy" got shattered. He also said that once that had happened it also ruined both relationships he was in cause of the trust factor, on both sides.
My husband has always said it would be awesome but something he wants to keep as a fantasys so it won't getting marred.So I don't think I will have to worry about this.

Aahahaha! I've seriously never known anyone, guy or girl, whos been in this situation. I think its fictitious. I dont think people who are in serious monogamous relationships actually come across this issue.

And I agree that its probably cooler in fantasy than when its actually done in real life. Like most things.

hell no...... tell him that you would like to do it too with another guy...i guess that would be the end of it! 3's a crowd in my opinion....a total NO...it will ruin the relationship believe me even if you think your relationship is strong enough to handle this..it won't. I hope you won't accept what he's asking for both your own good. you will end up wondering if he liked her better and things won't be the same again

Dump Him.

Buy the t-shirt.

Wear it proudly.

I'm ALL for trying new things in bed, but this is one thing I will definitely say NO too. I'm not much of the jealous type anymore, but I can imagine all types of jealous & insecure feelings arising from a threesome with another female (would he like it if another guy joined you during sex?). Sorry, seeing my man get it on with another girl is not a turn-on, regardless of whether not I'm "involved" in the act. No way, Jose.

I've heard the fantasy is definitely better than reality... Awkward, anyone?

I'd flat out tell him no. It's just a no. That's it.

No... it's sometimes hard to keep emotions and feelings out of the bedroom after something like that and I'm pretty sure it would go downhill from here.

If the relationship is about sex, then sure.

But if the relationship is about loving each other, then there's no reason that another person should be involved.

I would never ever ever agree to have one, because I don't really believe that being intimate with someone should accommodate more than two people. Plus, I'm pretty certain that I'm much too insecure for that.

Tried it with disastrous results.

Oh that's not just a no, that's a HELL NO. I would break up with him on the spot for even suggesting it.

Call me a prude and some probably will....

But the minute someone in the relationship requests a threesome or mildly suggests it, thats a red light. Even though hey, everyones human and everyone fantastises but I fantasize about robbing a bank and flying to Paris, doesnt mean Im gonna do it. Theres many risks involved and relationships form outside of the bedroom, pretty soon he/she is going to be going out on exclusive dates with the thrid party...

Bottom line: A healthy relationship doesnt need a threesome, imo of course

I have dealt with the threesome fantasy from my man for years now and while he knows I would never actually participate in one I will indulge his fantasy by talking about having a threesome when we are getting it on. Afterwards he doesnt bring it up until he wants to fantasize about it again usually 6 months to a year later. I talk about again positively and then it goes away.

Its all about appealing to there egos.

Nope. Don't want to, will not.

It's totally fun! Do it if you're comfortable with it.

My boyfriend has asked me this quite a few times, only half-jokingly. He claims the biggest turn on for him would be seeing me with the other girl. And I said no. That's all you need to say, no. Next subject.

Actually, funny story! Not too long ago... well a month ago! My boyfriend and I had a big fight when we where up in Big Bear. On the way down the mountain, was major traffic. He started asking me would I ever have a threesome. At first we where really into it, because it took our minds off why we where mad at each other. Then he started telling me in detail what would happen.

It made me wonder, if he ever did it before! Then an hour has gone by, I finally told him that.. I don't like that. I mean after all, you're in a relationship with your boyfriend. Maybe I might be insecure but, I don't want my boyfriend touching no other girl but me! haha.

I would say, if you dig it. But if your having second thoughts, you shouldn't be pressured into it.

I'd say, "I'd only do it if it's with another man, honey."

No way. I would give him a spank for even suggesting it.. and i dont mean spank in a kinky sort of way.. i'd really be disgusted.

NOT A CHANCE! If he wants a threesome, he's gonna have to break up with me and date someone else.