you get a shower for your first baby. i think it's rather odd that she's had more than one, at this time she has all the basics.

as for the sex and the city episode, the reason single women without babies don't get showers is because they have far fewer living expenses. it sucked that carrie's shoes were stolen but it was hard for me to feel to feel too bad for her. any woman with kids can tell you that diapers, baby clothes, bottles, baby shoes, toys, etc adds up quickly. baby showers are just a way of friends and family helping out and celebrating. carrie showed some real class telling her friend to buy her another pair of ridiculous shoes.

oh, and i don't have babies of my own (just my pets) but my friends who have kids have told me that babies cost a lot of money. i'm just taking their word for it.

Where I come from (Sweden) we have no such tradition as Baby Showers. We bring a gift when we are invited over to meet the new parents and baby for the first time and then another one if the baby is baptized/christening.

I think it's ridiculous that you are expected to bring such a nice gift as I understand you often do for baby showers. We just bring something small; traditional fairytale books, clothing, shoes or maybe a plate or utensils in a series that the baby/child will collect until they grow up.

Sure, kids are expensive, but you still choose to put a baby into this world. If you can't afford it - don't do it.

It is becoming more and more common to have a shower for each baby. The idea behind it is that each child is special and their birth should be celebrated. Some of them include gifts, while others do not. Safety guidelines are always changing and so does the sex of the baby, so those are more reasons for multiple showers. At least in the minds of some people. We have never done more than one shower in my family and I don't have children...so that is all I can offer.

You didn't say who is throwing the shower. If she hosting it, I would say that isn't the most proper thing to do. But, maybe her friends or family enjoy throwing them and it is their idea. Either way, don't feel obligated to give an expensive gift if you decide to go. Get something practical and if she is a good friend she will appreciate it.

Etiquette is supposed to be one shower but with things changing more and more people are having them for each baby for the reason stated above. I really don't have that much of a problem with it. The people that have multiple showers for the same baby are the ones that irritate me. A friend of a friend had 3 baby showers for the baby she is having next month. How tacky. I should have had a shower when I brought Cuba home from the breeder because dogs are just as expensive especially when they live with me!

I agree with that, Cuba! I have two dogs and donate to countless animal rescues & my dogs ARE MY BABIES & I don't expect anyone to bring me gifts for them! (Although it would be very nice!)

Not to mention as a friend, when your friends have babies & then you are also expected to go to all their birthday parties & bring gifts to those too!

hehe, i'd love it if i had a baby shower for my furry babies...

I think I see a new career opportunity.

The birthday parties drive me nuts too! All kids get from me are books they don't need all the stupid toys. I have noticed that once people have kids if you are single they pretty much start to disappear.

I have had a totally different experience with my friends having babies. They don't expect anything from the child-less ones, except support...and not the financial kind. I am sad to hear about your negative experiences.

Yes, they do start to disappear, but I don't really resent that...I just know it is a part of life & how relationships are always changing. I know that it is hard to hang out w/ me if I'm running out to happy hour after work & then home to change & then going to meet more friends out for dinner or at a bar. Just like, hanging out w/ her kids and watching Dora the Explorer is not my idea of a good time either. I love my friends that have babies and I love their babies, we just live seperate lives.

I agree that life changes candy. But, hopefully we can still find time for the important people in our lives. I am thankful we have been able to juggle all the changes in our group of friends to be able to find the time to still get together on a regular basis. I think it is awesome that you aren't resentful candy, because a lot of people can be that way.

It is not that I feel it is or was a negative experience. It was more of an observation when I look at my circle of friends now as opposed to even a year ago and how dynamics change. God if I had to sit through Dora the Explorer I would probably have to kill myself. Thank God I will never know that agnoy.

cuba!

I agree with Thoia, here in Holland it's the same as in Sweden: gifts for the child once it's born. Grandparents do help out usually: buying the pram, the cot, whatever.

I'm kind of torn about this. If the kids were further apart in age, I could understand it. My only child is 9 (almost), and if I - God forbid - had another baby, I'd need EVERYTHING. We had a pretty small place, so even when she was about 3-4, we had gotten rid of most of the baby stuff, just because of shear lack of space. Having them all so close together, on the other hand, seems a bit excessive, unless the gender changed. Maybe if it was just a celebration, not a gift giving event, that would be ok? I think it really does depend on the individual situation.

Of course, my mom had to bully me into registering for my shower, since I absolutly hate asking for things (even from my own family), it makes me feek squicky.

If a friend is throwing her one...you can always say you're busy and bring something small whenever you see your pregnant friend again. If the pregnant woman throws herself one that's just tacky.

Don't sound so bitter people...lol If you're pennypinching about the whole shower concept and why nobody gives you anything...just stay away from them!

My cousin is having her 3rd baby shower today..she already has a boy and girl ages 6 and 3 and is expecting another boy. She calims she needs a baby shower because she doesnt have anything from the previous.I think its just a way for her to get a lot of gifts and new things. She always gets the neweest stuff then gives it away or throws it out...So yeah, this time I got her a card with a gift card in it.