So wait.. you want to get married before he graduates?? Do you guys have a home and money saved up? Are you even engaged? I have to say that I feel like you are incredibly immature. You obviously made plans for yourself and yourself only. It is sad to see that he has his goals in perspective and a great job already.. and you want to uproot the both of you for YOUR ideal life. Unfortunately, his education is more important than anything right now.. so being that he told you to go on your way or wait to years shows a lot about him. He obviously cares a lot about life and you well.. you seem like you only care about yourself. I think you need to take a step back and reevaluate this situation. Your man is in NO place to move right now and you even suggesting that to him and ridiculous. You are not dating yourself so unfortunately you can't pick and choose how life is planned out. Try going with the flow for a while and not putting a timeline on your life so much. He is clearly not going in that same direction right now being that his priorities are school and work. If you want to stay with your man I suggest chilling out a little. Or A Lot.

Your plan is just that - your plan. You want to get married. You want to have a baby. And you have the timeline all mapped out. The only problem - you forgot to include him in the planning.

Many long-term relationships end at turning points like this. You're ready for the next phase of your life, he's not. He's content in his school and job. There's no point in waiting around, especially since he hasn't proposed or shown any indication of truly wanting a future with you. If you do wait around, you'll waste years, and at any point he may very well decide you're not the one for him.

If you want to leave MI, then go. Get on with your life. He's not on the same page and shouldn't hold you back.

Um, I understand you have a certain dream/visualization/plan of what your future should be. But you have to remember too that not everything in life is under your control, sometimes you'll have to be able to compromise and accept that not everything will go as planned.
Since things don't seem to work out the way they do, then I'd suggest you make a change of plan and try to map out differently, and it's not going to end horribly.

If you want to leave Michigan, how about do so, and try to live life differently. Have a new experience. Be single for awhile if your bf doesn't want the same things you want. Everyone is entitled to have their goals (get married, have children, etc), but not everyone's significant others have the same goals in mind, if that's the case, then gotta move on.

P.S.
I kind of feel sorry for your bf, does he know you're planning a baby in 3 years? Which means that he'll have to be completely ready financially to support you and the baby (for awhile anyway--since most women work after their maternity leave).

If he does know all about your plan (marriage in a year, then a baby 2 years later), and still stays around, it says a lot about him (he must really love you). I mean, most guys will probably run the other way when they find out how detailed their lives have been planned by their gfs.

I agree with the previous answers.

It seems that marriage and a baby are only your plan. You said:"He won't even be ready for all that because he will still be in school!". So, you know he won't be ready!

I think that, if you really wanted to marry your boyfriend, then you wouldn't be asking yourself if you should wait for two years until he graduates or move on. I feel sorry for him.

Well, maybe you're just confused.

If it was a guy writing he can't wait for two years until his girlfriend graduated and were thinking about dumping her just because of it, I'd be completely upset! He might swear on the Bible that he loved his girlfriend, but I wouldn't believe!

His life plans are as important as yours. If your positions were switched, would you rather have him stay or go?

Two years isn't that long. If you're seriously considering leaving him, maybe he's not worth sticking around for. It's really too bad that he doesn't fit exactly into YOUR plans.

I also suggest that you chill out. It's good to have an idea of where you'd like to be in the future, however, life rarely goes according to plan. Especially when you're young and just getting out of college, things can change fast. Be flexible about it.

Relationships are about sacraficing. And plus life never goes the way you plan it.
He seems to have everything going NOW while you want everything to be going...in the future!

The future means not now but later, so why not just wait my dear?
You'll have to wait anyway right?

I have a question for you. If you do break up with your boy friend and move away from home, how will you realize your dream of having a baby in the next three years? What if you don't meet another man in that time-frame? I ask because it seems to me that while it's important to realize your goals in life, it's more important to realize them with someone you love and trust.

I agree with many of the posters here that you need to communicate with your boy friend and make sure he is aware of your goals and misgivings about staying in Michigan. But if you value him as a person and a potential mate, you will want to make sure he realizes his dreams as well. Do you know what his plans are beyond finishing school?

I don't necessarily agree with almost famous that "Relationships are about sacrificing", but they are certainly about compromise and meeting the other person's needs to the best of your ability.

Wait for him to finish school is the first thing you would want to do. Long distance relatioship may be an option for the moment, or you can try separating for a while to see what it is like. Don`t plan so far ahead that you already plan out the birth date of your baby. You have to realize that building a life and family together requires much more than love. You will be to have a stable income of course, shelter, maturity to handle things together. And who knows, when he graduates he might not go to the same state either and you`ll be faced with another choice to move or stay put.

I'm really confused. How are you going to get married and have a baby two years after graduating if you break up with him? Someone else is going to sign your contract, er, I mean, propose to you on your timeline? I just don't get how breaking up with him for something he can't help will help you get married quicker.

I have personally found graduating college to be a very difficult time in a relationship because you do tend to move in different directions. I think I'm just kind of angry because you have such an issue with waiting for him, when it seems like he is trying to be a good sport about all your craziness. There are things you can do other than just getting married the second you graduate college. Perhaps take this as an opportunity to go to grad school, or really concentrate on a career and make some $$. Then when he graduates, you'll already be a step ahead and it'll make it that much easier when you get back together.

You also sound very interested in what's best for you, so maybe you should do your boyfriend a favor and break up with him so you can, ya know, concentrate more on yourself! Go be single for a week and get drunkenly married in Vegas. Perhaps he can find someone who actually gives a crap about him.

I was gonna say something...but I forgot. :/

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA im sorry to laugh at u, its just that it reminds me of myself when i was in HIGH SCHOOL, saying i wont get married ever before 24 and he'd have to be canadian and live in toronto and he'd have to be religious etc etc.

im married at 22 moved to chicago to a borderline athiest...

hunny things dont go as u have planned, life happens, and the smart thing is to be well prepared.

good luck

You know, most girls I know grew out of the "life timeline" phase before high school. If you can't roll with the punches and learn to compromise you're in for one hell of a bumpy marriage. Please do him a favor and dump him. It sounds like being single for awhile would be good for you, too.

I don't understand why it has to be either/or. If it is meant to be and you guys love each other, you should be able to stay together even though you are apart. It might be hard, but you seem committed.

On another note, having a timeline=bad idea

Let's be honest. They're not on the same wave length. I don't see why you should forgo possible career opportunities(and in general, living her life) for a relationship. They're probably not even engaged yet. Compatibility is important in relationships.

so if you break up with him, how's that gonna affect your RIDICULOUSLY STUPID plan? are you gonna find some guy that is just gonna marry you right off and want to have kids almost as quick? life doesn't follow a plan, honey. you need to learn that.

Lol @ the timeline. Seriously? I'm not really understanding you. Who's going to get to know you and marry you in one year of relationship if you leave the current one you're in now? Furthermore, you want to go where there are job opportunities for your degree, right? You don't even know what the real world is like and you think you can already balance a career, a love life, and family from the get-go. That's a ridiculous assumption.

Get established in your career first and possibly enter a long-distance relationship OR wait it out with your bf for 1 and a half years and stagnate your career. Here is my advice for you.

The second option is worst for you because 1 and half years of lost time in your career field is damaging. You also will be resentful towards your boyfriend when it happens. Not only do you damage your career life and you damage your love life by staying. The first option is smarter. If love remains even after the 1 and half years of long-distance, you both know you're in it for the long haul. Also, you start off gaining substantial work experience right after college which will be very good for you if you intend to have a good career. Oh, and do you know babies early in your career life are good for career stagnation? I just thought you should know unless you know people in high places who will serve you a career on a silver platter. Regardless, in both options, your time line will not work out.

And, then, there is the third option. Break off with him and find a career elsewhere. I guarantee if you make this choice you will not be getting your little lovely time line.

Case and point: Time lines do not work. Life is sometimes a bit more spontaneous than some of us would like it to be.

The arbitary life schedule strikes again. It's not like he has no intentions to move for you. He just has to finish school! Unless you think he's lying to string you along, and it doesn't seem like you think that.

I'm with nevaeh1978. If he already knows what your plans are and haven't run off screaming in horror, then he may well be on the same page with you, just with the exception of a slightly delayed timeline because, come on, he'd want to finish school and be financially secure first, which makes a lot more sense than following some arbitary schedule just because you made it up in your head when you were 12 or something.

A Man's POV: I'd venture to guess that maybe the OP will "snag" any man who's ready for marriage and kids, regardless of whether she likes him or not. Because it's the marriage and children goals that are important, you see? The man is of no importance aside from viable sperm and a fat wallet to pay for a nice diamond ring and a wedding and all the expenses that comes with the white picket fence 2.5 children dream.

I pity the boyfriend.

OK, this really sounds like a naive high school girl planning...

Besides that I think you need to reconsider your move - while unemployment might be high (you said it's really low but that would mean the job market is great) you need to find out if it is high in your particular field. Also, you need to consider cost of living. Just by the sound of your plan I am imagining you wanting to go to L.A. or NYC... Do some research, and life is not lived on a planned timeline.

I think people are being a little harsh. She's not evil or stupid or selfish just because she has a life plan. That said, it is time to give up on that plan. Whether you break up with him or not, you're not going to get married in a year. I know it's hard to let go, but you need to. Once you're not bogged down by the stresses of this timeline, you'll be able to see a lot clearer. If you love him, he'll be worth waiting for, either in MI or long distance for a year. If he loves you, he'll understand your needs and won't stand in the way of you moving if that's what you need to do.

I say move. Get some life experience. And if you two are still together when he graduates, he can move with you, and you can live happily ever after- albeit a year or two behind schedule.

Regardless of whether or not you stay with your boyfriend, you must accept that your life plans of getting married a year post-college, and poppin' out a baby two years post-wedding, are no longer feasible. Basically, you have year to get married, which means you'd have to break up with your bf, graduate college, move to an entirely different state, grieve the relationship, start a career, meet new friends, spend lots of time building friendships, somehow meet a new man, fall in love, agree to get engaged, plan a wedding, and finally have that wedding. I think your plans have unhinged. You must accept this and move on with whatever you plan to do with your life.

Good luck.

Why do you have a plan for the date of marriage and a child without a man to plan that with? That just doesn't make any sense to me. So if you leave him because he doesn't fit into your plan, are you just going to pick up with anyone that will? Of course not! (Er, I hope, anyway) You can say you want to have children young, and that's fine, but life doesn't always work out. Your marriage in a year is not an option (or at least it doesn't see so from the facts given). As to leaving Michigan, I can understand - I left a few years ago for the very same reason. It sounds to me like you don't really seem to want to factor him into your equation at all. It sounds like you're not willing to make sacrifices for the relationship (or at least these ones). if that's the case, it sounds like you've made your decision. You want certain things that you can't get from him and you don't want to wait. So you don't have to. But know that life's not going to always fit into your plan. Only you can decide whether someone's worth the sacrifice or not.

You can have all the plans you want, but life will screw them up, every time, whether you like it or not.

You're being very selfish as a girlfriend, yet pretty reasonable for a single girl. I suggest breaking up with him and doing your own thing because your futures for the next fews years just don't seem to mesh. Oh, and why would there be nothing in the job market for you if unemployment is so low?? That means there are lots of jobs!!! Haha geez.

seeing as how it takes most people 3 years out of college to get a decent job, the fact that he has one is amazing. you seem to be complaining about nothing here.

maybe its time to change your plan.

Your plan??? Are you kidding me??? Stop acting like a child and think about your partners needs as well...

Planning life rarely works. If you're itching to move, go ahead. It might serve as a good test for how well the two of you can survive in a relationship beyond college. Wait until he's ready before springing marriage on him, or you'll likely have a resentful husband who never got to experience life beyond college before being tied down. You both might appreciate the space, or realize you're in two different places.

Hey there, I left Michigan 4 years ago and now currently live in San Francisco. Getting out of that state is the smartest thing I believe you can do. I just went there to visit family and forgot just how bleak, boring, and depressing that state is. You will be a better you and a better girlfriend if you follow your heart and get the heck out. That desire to leave probably won't ever go away and if you stay you may just wind up resenting him and compromising your ability to be successful and happy. This is a delicate situation but when you put yourself first, you'll realize the decision's very clear. Best of luck and catch a plane outta there asap!

Are your goal to settle down or to get out(of the state, and seek new experience)?

I'm confused. Because you want to leave so badly that you are willing to move away from your boyfriend, but at the same time you want the two of you to start nesting ASAP. You say the age gap hasn't been an issue until now, but you must have seen this coming, right? I mean, simple mathematics would tell you that a) this guy is young, and he has got no plans of marriage and kids in the near future b) you will graduate before him, and with a size-able time margin.

I think you are way too young to start a family if these facts haven't dawned upon you until now. My advice? Get out, grow up, and have fun while doing it.

All I can tell you is this; I graduated college in December. I've wanted to be a singer my whole life and while I am scared to death of moving, I am moving to NYC in two weeks. I have a boyfriend I have been with for three and a half years and honestly I'm glad to leave him because the spark is gone for me. Unfortunately I am deeply in love with a man from my past who still lives in my old college town. We never had a relationship but I would drop every plan I have ever made to be with him. All he would have to do is ask. If that's not how you feel about your boyfriend then it's not worth postponing your hopes.

All I can is, if you really are in love with this guy, you CAN wait. A relationship is filled with compromise and life is also full of surprises. Yes, you may have a plan but it is YOUR plan. Have you ever discussed this with your significant other ? If not, you should of done that long ago.

Things do not always go your way and you'll have to face up to that because soon or later you're going to find that life isn't always what you've expected it to be.

On the other hand, if this is really what you aspire to do with your life then you'll have to make some difficult choices. You'll have to choose what is the most important to you...

take care

What's funny is that I am from Michigan, I graduated before my boyfriend (who is also 1.5 years younger than me) and we have been together for two years. I agree with everybody on the whole marriage/kids thing. You have your whole life ahead of you. I now live in North Carolina, and my boyfriend actually moved down with me. He sacrificed everything for me. So if you really love him, you will do the same.