Girl, sometimes those dating theories never come in to play.
Especially the ones about not sleeping with the guy on the first date.
Now I'm not saying continue to do this if this guy isn't the one for you,
but what I am saying is his personality is what really counts.

So many women have slept with a man on their first date and are now married,
happily married at that! Then other women done it and turned out he wasn't the
one for them.

Just watch what he does next time. If he wants to come to your house, don't let him!
If he wants you to go back to your place, don't. This would be a strong indicator that
he wants to continue to just have sex...

Just remember what I said, dating theories can be put to rest. If the person turns out to be
the one.

Only time will tell, but yeah, you probably blew it. Sorry - that's just how guys are. He'll probably call a lot right away, and expect sex every time, then back off once he starts meeting other women.

The best thing you can do at this point is tell him that you don't usually have sex on the first date and you'd like to slow things down and date and get to know each other for a while before going there again.

I slept with my boyfriend on our first date and we've been in a happy relationship for two years. Some rules are meant to be broken - sometimes.

@ Cycy

That's what I was talking about. Sometimes these dating theories are taken to the max. Don't sleep with him if he seems to be pushing you to sleep with him...

You screwed it up.. NO SEX ON THE FIRST DATE !! JEEEZ

Well, I agree, most men (NOT ALL) but definitely most just don't end up comitting to women who have sex on the first date. I suppose it has something to do with their ego, they believe if you did it with them, you will do it with anyone. Now of course THEY can go out sleep with the first sleaze they meet and no one says anything about it. Yes, ladies it's still a man's world. The best thing you can do now is tell him it was completely out of character for you and slow things down no matter how hard it gets. Let me tell you a story. My current boyfriend is from dating online. We did not meet in person for three and half months. When we finally met, it was like...I WANT SEX NOW, but I did not do it. I waited for another week. I never really thought he would wait that long, but he did and we have a solid relationship.
In the end, it's up to you. I would never think less of any woman, it's your body.

Yea I slept with my bf on our first date and yea we have been dating for over a year and live together

My fiance and I had sex on our first date. We are each other's first love and we're getting married next March. Sometimes, it does really work out. I wouldn't recommend for everyone to do it. As for the OP, I would suggest seeing where it leads. Yes, you got caught up in the moment just as I did but that doesn't make it wrong. Unwise, sure, but things could end up greatly like it did with my relationship.

Just relax and get to know this guy. I wouldn't over think the "sex on the first date" thing. Be sure you know what you want out of the relationship. Maybe you will have more than great chemistry, if you are compatible in other ways.

I think that you should relax and not worry too much about it. Rules for dating have always seemed kind of odd to me. I think that if the guy really likes you, having sex is not going to make him stop. If he wasn't that interested, not having sex is not going to make him decide you're the one for him. I think the people who make this crap up should stop trying to put people in boxes. Are they trying to convince themselves that if they stick to some kind of format, they will end up in a long term relationship? What about you, are you really that interested in him, or are you just interested in winning him over? For the record, I slept with the man who is now my husband of ten years on our first date.

NOT all guys think this is bad. And here is the deal, if he does think it's a bad thing, he did the same thing. I hate those double standards!

I think you only blew if sex is your best asset! Honestly, I think it is a pretty stupid concept that sleeping with a guy right away "ruins" your chances with them... could have so much more to offer, its not like sleeping with someone is the best thing you have going on.

I feel like many women withhold sex to keep things moving... but if you are a smart, funny, kind, beautiful woman you have something else to be careful with and "give out" as time goes-- that is your time!

Don't lower yourself, sex is not your best asset... your company is. Just don't be overly available and keeping him going with the bait of being in your presence.

As a side note, I wouldn't say the whole "I don't normally have sex on the first date" thing... it just makes it a bigger deal than it has to be, plus you DID have sex on the first date, and it might make him feel sheepish for doing it too.

Don't fret, you've probably got more going on that your -ahem- vajayjay and there is so much more fo you to be desired by the men in your life.

Absolute do's and don'ts are silly when it comes to dating because everybody and every relationship is different. It seems like you and your date were had strong physical feelings toward each other and that both of you wanted to do it. If you aren't comfortable being so physical with a guy that quickly into the relationship, you shouldn't do it when you see him again. But if you are comfortable, go for it. Most guys are smart enough to realize that they can't look down on a girl for sleeping with them right away, because they are doing the exact same thing.

almost famous I couldn't of said it any better myself!!

You never know. Don't stress about it at this point, the deed is done. Have fun and if you guys go a distance then it worked out. If you stop seeing each other then I hope the sex was at least decent.

I think you should relax and not over think the issue. If you like him just see how things go, time will tell what he really wants. If you want to talk to him to get it out in the open do that. What you do next depends on how you feel and what you expect.

perfectly but kenziebaby! I've never understood people that live and die by dating rules.

easy peasy, some bowling shoes and your feet are in the air.
gutterball.

LMAO CaterpillarGirl!!!!

i don't recommend hooking up on the first date.

but atleast he called you. (ha!)

try not having sex on the next date and see if he calls you again.

lolol . . .gutterball . . .lol

I wouldn't suggest doing this on all first dates, but sometimes it doesn't matter. There are no rules to dating; just imagined ones. But I might recommend NOT sleeping with him on the second date; and I wouldn't offer any big explanation for doing it the first time and not the second. You'll know soon enough where you stand after that.

whatever, dont stress about it too much. next time he calls, just say, listen, i really had a great time last time we went out and i think our emotions got the best of us, so maybe we should slow it down a little and get to know eachother a little better...

if it doesnt work out than chalk it up to one great night

I don't think it's so much about the sex on the first date as it is about your general rapport with the guy. If you have a good connection and can hang out and spend time together and just enjoy each other's company--meaning, if you have things to enjoy in each other besides the sex--then I don't necessarily think it's a problem. And if he will judge you for having sex with him on the first date, or think less of you, then I wouldn't consider him anything worth keeping anyway.

Personally, I'm a believer of not having sex until you're married (call me old-fashioned, but I think there's sense to it), but I realize that hardly anyone adheres to that rule, SO....
I think you blew it, but see what happens this weekend. If he expects you to be physical right away, then yes, I'd say that you gave him the wrong idea, and it's just better to learn from it.

Well, it's a possibility he thinks you're good for atleast the sex now. If ya'll were on an official date, it means ya'll had to meet prior, so it's not like you slept with him after knwoing him for 4 hours. Next weekend, you should not have sex with him, let him get to know you.

I don't think you necessarily "blew it" on the possible relationship front. However, I'd be more concerned about the "doing a guy you barely know" part, that just seems awfully unsafe to me. I mean, I don't think it's "morally wrong" or makes you a "bad person" or whatever. Just unsafe.

Get thee to a gyne for a checkup, posthaste!

Jude C--I was going to say the same thing. If it's ONLY about sex and you have nothing else going for you guys, then yeah, he probably only wants sex. But that could happen whether you slept with him on the first date or not.

I think if a guy is genuinely interested in you, he'll want to see you again and for more than sex, whether you sleep with him on the first date or on the 10th. A girl saying she blew it with a guy because she had sex with him on the first date just doesn't want to admit that the problem is HER and he just wasn't that into her in the first place!

I wouldn't recommend sex on the first date, but sometimes it just fees right. You know, like how a first date could feel like a 5th date? I've been dating my boyfriend for two years and we had sex on the first date...so those rules mean sh*t!

*feels

You've only been on one date with him but "you really like this guy"? Had you known him beforehand?

I agree with other posters, the "dating rules" are kinda old fashioned and one size does not fit all. If you guys had amazing chemistry on that first date and it felt right, sh*t I would probably do the same thing. Actually, I have!! A relationship didn't come from it but I don't regret it.

On your next date, I would stay in public (do not go back to your place), and casually bring it up if you guys start kissing and stuff... say you're having a great time with him, but let's take things slow and get to know each other. I think if you have sex with him AGAIN on the 2nd date, THEN you blew it.

I had sex with my boyfriend on the first date. We had been talking non-stop for a week though whilst he was in Japan!

We had made it official very shortly before that though.

Sometimes a girl just needs some sex!!

Like the others said, I wouldn't worry too much unless every date after ends in someone's bed. Concentrate on spending some time fully-clothed. The way he acts on the next few times you talk and meet up will tell if he's after time with you or just for a bit of naughtiness. He's either a dick or he's a nice guy who's like you because of who you are. Guys are old enough to know that women get caught up in the moment just like guys do, so if he judges you based on that, then you've just saved yourself a lot of heartache.

i think that sometimes it's not a mistake to sleep with someone right away. my boyfriend and i have always had an intense attraction, and we slept together right away. he was attracted to me physically and to my personality, so in the end it wasn't an issue. i do have to say that we did kind of end up skipping the whole dating thing because we moved so fast, and I know he kind of regrets that now, but we're still in a really solid, loving relationship. i think people who are really judgmental or think there is only one way things can work out are very narrow-minded because there are just so many possibilities. i think it's a great sign that he called you to hang out because he could have just "booty-called" if that is what he was looking for. i'd actually bring it up to him, like tell him you really like him and you don't want him to think you just want him for his body (you know, reverse psychology!) and see how he responds.

I gotta say Jeny you seem to be really negative on these boards. I have slept with men on first dates before, although I don't do it often. As long as you have fun and aren't doing it because you think he will like you more then go right ahead. Someone else already said it, but if he likes you then he likes you and he will call you, and if he didn't like you having sex with him or not having sex with him would not have made him call you again.

P.S. CCsugar....what is wrong with "really liking a guy" after a first date? It isn't like she said she was in love with the guy! Shouldn't you like a guy in order to go on a second date with him? Or is she just supposed to not care, until he decides he likes her?

Rules are stupid in dating (for me). It's not a game - it's life - and there are no rules for it in my opinion. Everyone should do what they're comfortable with. I wouldn't sleep with someone on the first date, the second, or even the third, but that's me. I'm shy. Obviously you were comfortable enough to let it go there (or at least, I hope you were) so that's who you are, and that's ok.

I don't believe in the world "slut." Women have biological sexual needs just as much as men, and as long as you're consenting adults and take precautions for your health, it's absolutely fine.

I would just go with it. Just because you slept with him one time doesn't mean you have to again. You can wait 3 months if you like! There are no rules that say once you've slept together then you have to all the time. And not all guys are necessarily into that conquest and dump thing. And anyway, who really wants to be with a guy like that?

Take it from the French girl - I almost ALWAYS slept on the first date, and NONE of these guys ever stopped calling. I lived wonderful relationships, great love stories, and mostly with American guys (I lived in NY for 10 years). It has NEVER happened that a guy didn't call me back or tried to use me for sex afterwards. The thing is, you have to pick the right guy, that's all. If he's a player, he's a player after the 30th sexless date. If he's a nice guy, he'll be even nicer after a great night of sex... hehe.

So, in my opinion, it's all about who he is, and not about what you did. If he likes you, he's not going to stop because he got in your pants. And if he's a good guy, he's not going to lose interest because he got laid.

Now, however, I'd wait a little bit before doing it again -

and here's why:

The only guy with whom I waited is my current boyfriend. And the only reason why I can now say that it's better to wait is not because it "hooks" the guy or whatever, but because the whole time we waited, our desires grew to such insane proportions that the sex was mind-blowing. And two years later, it still is. I like to think that it's because we haven't yet exhausted that week of teasing at the beginning...

So don't sweat it. On top of that, he called you back and made plans for the weekend. It's a shame if you don't enjoy all the wonders of a new relationship just because you're scared or feel guilty. Throw that crap out the window, and HAVE A GREAT TIME!

Well, this does depend on the guy and the situation, but I slept with my boyfriend pretty much right off the bat, and we're still together. Just go for it and if you start thinking he's in it for the sex then talk to him and get it sorted.

It's not a dealbreaker. If it feels right then just keep on the same path. As long as he doesn't treat you like a booty call, then what's the problem? Any guy that uses it against you is hypocritical and a jerk. But if you feel like you've rushed things and you're not comfortable with the pace, then there's no reason you can't just say, "I feel like things moved a little fast, would you mind if we slowed it down a little?" It all comes down to the quality of the guy...if he likes you and he's looking for something more than sex, the fact that you slept together shouldn't matter.

it could go either way honestly. my boyfriend and i started this way, but it was awkward and strange. he was worried i would never speak to him. i was worried i looked like a slut (i'd never had a one night stand in my life) i got over my fear and called him and he was ecstatic. we're now living together and as crazy about each other as we've ever been. we actually laugh about the way we ended up together and wonder how we'll tell our children one day.

The real question is How do you feel about yourself? At the end of the day you have to look youself in the mirror. You are not the first female to do that. sh*t, I did the samething and he didn't stop calling. He tries to take me out every weekend, and calls every other night. Like the others said it depends on the guy and also how you handle yourself on the second date. Don't condemn yourself because of it, some people end up happy. Don't stress yourself about it.

I have often wondered about this one, and I have read about it and asked my fiance about it. He reluctantly admitted to me that he would be a lot less likely to see a girl as girlfriend potential if she slept with him right away. I think a lot of guys feel that way because there is no more thrill in the chase. That being said, it is a really good sign that you actually heard from him again, it sounds that he wasn't just in it for a one night stand. If you feel like things moved too fast the first time around, then be honest about it with him. If he really likes you and wants more than just sex, he'll be willing to stick around. Good luck, girl!!!!!!:)

If you respect yourself, he'll respect you. Period. He'll have no choice. Whether you had sex on the first date or the 100th, just make sure you are comfortable. If you put it down right - that is, let him know up front that you don't mind doing it, but you're about more than that - he'll understand your position on the matter (no pun intended).

The only way you blew it is if *you* can't handle it, because I can just about guarantee he's handling it just fine.

Wow and I thought I was the only one that has slept with someone on the first date. My sister and girlfriends called me all kinds of names for sleepin with this guy on the first date. I did it cause I was first very attracted to him and I connected with him the whole nite. But I did explain to him that I usually dont do this.... But I lied I have done it one other time and with that guy we ended up in a short term relationship. But I dont know. It depends on the person. I now really like this guy but he wants to take things slow.... So I don't know whats goin to happen!! Time will tell I guess. Keep ur head up women no matter what people say about you. U know how u feel about a guy not them. And half the time those women have done the same thing!!!